Mike Farrell credited as playing...
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Do you, Chuck Emerson Winchester III, take this lovely, if gullible, young woman as your unlawful unwedded unwife?
- Maj. Charles Winchester: I undo.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: And do you, Donna Marie Parker Winchester III, take this pickled amnesiac as your unlawful unwedded unhubby?
- Donna Marie Parker: I undo, too.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Then by the power invested in me by the state of intoxication, I pronounce you man and woman. You may now ignore the bride!
- Shaw: You got it too, Doc?
- Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III: No, my pain, regret - regrettably, is self-inflicted.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Not a pretty sight, is it? Poor devil's the victim of bottle fatigue.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Got it during an entire night of hand-to-glass combat.