James Wainwright credited as playing...
Colonel Lacy
- Colonel Lacy: You know, we're really not so far apart.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Right. Opposite sides of the same fence.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: No, he's got a point. We're all in the same business. As surgeons, we'll sacrifice some tissue in order to save the whole body. You'll sacrifice a few men in order to, uh... to, uh... What is it you get out of that again?
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: A hill. You know, a rock.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Oh, yeah, right. See? We're practically the same.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Have you ever had your appendix out?
- Colonel Lacy: No.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Appendix?
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Yeah, acute appendicitis. That could keep you out for a week or two.
- Colonel Lacy: Two weeks? They'll take me off the line. I'll--
- [groan]
- Colonel Lacy: --lose my battalion.
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Definitely your appendix.
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Wait a minute. You want to open him up and take out his appendix?
- Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce: Well, I could reach down his throat and get it, but that would be another two weeks.