Robert Horton credited as playing...
Flint McCullough
- Neja - Mojave Chief: Mojave never kill. White man look at us strangely. His eyes not good. Eyes sick. He fall. I see wagon train. I bring to you. You want?
- Flint McCullough: Yeah, I'll take him along.
- Neja - Mojave Chief: ...My braves say, when he fall, hurt leg. If you take to white man, white man say you hurt. Mojave not hurt white man.
- Flint McCullough: I believe you. Thanks for bringing him in.
- Flint McCullough: [He pats Charlie on the back] Oh, this isn't Major Adams.
- Charlie Wooster: No, I ain't old enough and I ain't fat enough.
- Victoria: I'm Victoria.
- Flint McCullough: Victoria?
- Victoria: Victoria and her Redheads.
- Charlie Wooster: These aren't your sisters?
- Victoria: No, they're my act. We're singers. We performed at the New Orleans Opera House last year. And we'll be at the Denver Opera later in the season.
- Charlie Wooster: I've always loved opera.
- Flint McCullough: Since when?
- Charlie Wooster: Since right now.
- Flint McCullough: Stop drooling, Charlie.
- Charlie Wooster: I ain't drooling. I'm just window shopping. Always like redheads.
- Flint McCullough: Don't stop now. Never thought I'd hear Strauss out here.
- Victoria: You know Strauss music?
- Flint McCullough: My favourite composer.
- Charlie Wooster: Since when?
- Flint McCullough: Since right now.
- Charlie Wooster: Don't you think we ought to feed the patient before you start singing.
- Charlie Wooster: Did you ever hear of Christmas in August?
- Flint McCullough: No, is that what it is.
- Charlie Wooster: If you don't believe it, stick your head out and see what Santa Claus sent our way right now. See, what did I tell ya? Merry Christmas.
- Flint McCullough: [They watch as a wagon full of a bevy of pretty young ladies drive up. Flint and Charlie grin like smitten idiots at the talent] Merry Christmas.
- Charlie Wooster: The Major promised me there wouldn't be any Apaches up this far.
- Flint McCullough: I don't think they asked his permission.
- Charlie Wooster: Mmm. Apaches. Ooh.
- Bill Hawks: Why don't you try to be brave like the rest of us?
- Charlie Wooster: Yeah, it's easy for you to say, you don't have as much to lose as I do. Your scalp don't cover your whole face.
- Flint McCullough: Charlie, where's the fellow that stopped a thousand Indians singlehanded?
- Victoria: I'm very aware that this is a man's world.
- Flint McCullough: How much longer do you intend to let us keep it?
- Flint McCullough: No love story? I mean, young, beautiful, bitter. There must be a love story.
- Victoria: No love story, Mr McCullough. That's also the story of my life. I don't believe in love.
- Flint McCullough: You have a lot in common with my patient in the wagon. He too is positive about things that nobody can be positive about.
- Victoria: What is he so positive about?
- Flint McCullough: Oh, that hell is here on earth and that there's no heaven in the hereafter.
- Luke Grant: I'm in search of peace, Mr McCullough. And I know where it lies. It lies in quiet and eternal darkness.
- Flint McCullough: I don't know what the Major would do about you. But I now one thing. I don't have the wisdom to reach a man who doesn't have any faith.
- Luke Grant: Never had any faith? At one time, Mr McCullough, I was a representative of faith. I was a Minister of the Gospel.
- Flint McCullough: [He is speaking to Luke] Reverend, you can't judge God by the men that worship Him.
- Flint McCullough: Now, let me get this straight. Do you mean to tell me you knew the Cavalry was coming and you let us sweat us it out all night and not tell us?
- Major Seth Adams: Well, how could I tell ya? I was riding with them. You know that.
- Flint McCullough: Why were you riding with them when you belonged here with us? Now, you've said it to me many times, Major, that, when you got a job to do, do it, don't get sidetracked.
- Major Seth Adams: I didn't get sidetracked. I went after the Cavalry to save your necks. I went after them. I FOUND THEM AND I BROUGHT 'EM. That's all there is to it.
- Flint McCullough: Take your time, take all the time you want. But then come up with a good answer.
- Major Seth Adams: Well, I just figured I ought to help out the Cavalry, that's all.
- Flint McCullough: Do I understand that you don't feel the Cavalry could drive off the Apaches without you?
- Major Seth Adams: No, I wouldn't go so far as to say that.
- Charlie Wooster: Any time you say the word, Mr McCullough, we'll roll.
- Flint McCullough: Very well, Mr Wooster.
- Major Seth Adams: He's in charge?
- Charlie Wooster: When you left this wagon train, you left him in charge. I hearded it with my own ears.
- Major Seth Adams: Well, is it all right with you two if I just sorta tagged along?
- Flint McCullough: As long as you stay with the group and don't ride off with the soldiers.
- Major Seth Adams: Yes, Sir.
- Flint McCullough: WAGONS HO!
- Flint McCullough: Don't blame Charlie because he's not wrong. YOU ARE WRONG.
- [Flint stabs the air with his finger at the Major]
- Major Seth Adams: Well, all right. I'm, I'm, all right. I'm wrong. I'm sorry. It won't happen again.
- Flint McCullough: [Flint pats the Major on the shoulder] Very well, we accept your apology.
- Major Seth Adams: My, my apology?
- Flint McCullough: There are hundreds of people on this train who depend on YOU. You've got no right to go out and play soldier and take a chance at getting killed.
- Charlie Wooster: That's right, Flint.
- Major Seth Adams: Well, I didn't get myself killed, did I?
- Charlie Wooster: Wasn't your fault you didn't.
- Major Seth Adams: You talk too much.
- Flint McCullough: Major Adams, you've laid down the certain rules by which you want this wagon train run. I want to inform you that you've broken most of them today... What we don't need around here is a dead hero.
- Flint McCullough: [Charles has been describing his heroic exploits, singlehandedly, alone and by himself, overwhelming 1,000 Indians, to the young ladies in the wagon] Nothing? Ladies, modesty seals the lips of this fearless hero. Charles Wooster conquered a thousand screaming Indians single-handed... Never ask a hero how, he had to protect his professional secrets. No one knows when he might be asked to conquer a thousand screaming Indians again.