Martin Sheen: President Josiah Bartlet

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc

President Josiah Bartlet

President Josiah Bartlet: What is that?
Morris Tolliver: It's a flu shot.
President Josiah Bartlet: I don't need a flu shot.
Morris Tolliver: You do need a flu shot.
President Josiah Bartlet: How do I know this isn't the start of a military coup?
Morris Tolliver: Sir...
President Josiah Bartlet: I want the Secret Service in here right away.
Morris Tolliver: In the event of a military coup, sir, what makes you think the Secret Service is going to be on your side?
President Josiah Bartlet: [pause] Now that's a thought that's going to fester.

President Josiah Bartlet: 27 lawyers in the room. Anybody know "Post hoc, ergo propter hoc"? Josh?
Josh Lyman: Uh, uh, "post" - after, after hoc, "ergo" - therefore, "After hoc, therefore" something else hoc.
President Josiah Bartlet: Thank you. Next?
Josh Lyman: Well, if I had gotten more credit on the 443...
President Josiah Bartlet: Leo?
Leo McGarry: "After it therefore because of it."
President Josiah Bartlet: "After it therefore because of it." It means one thing follows the other, therefore it was caused by the other. But it's not always true. In fact, it's hardly ever true.

President Josiah Bartlet: It's not like I'm totally without experience, you know.
Morris Tolliver: Yes, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: You're talking to a former governor. I was commander-in-chief of the New Hampshire National Guard.
Morris Tolliver: You guys get into a lot of tough scrapes, did ya?
President Josiah Bartlet: We didn't have to. We'd just stand on the border and stare you down. Then we'd all go for pancakes.

President Josiah Bartlet: Jokes like that are part of my folksy charm, Morris. It's at the very heart of my popularity.
Morris Tolliver: Don't you have a job approval rating of like 3% or something?
President Josiah Bartlet: Well, we're having some difficulty getting the word out.

C.J. Cregg: Sir, this may be a good time to talk about your sense of humor.
President Josiah Bartlet: I've got an intelligence briefing, a security briefing and a 90-minute budget meeting all scheduled for the same 45 minutes. Are you sure this is a good time to talk about my sense of humor?
C.J. Cregg: No.
President Josiah Bartlet: Me, neither.

[a Navy doctor is checking the president's pulse]
President Josiah Bartlet: So, how's my pulse?
Morris Tolliver: Have you been running up and down the stairs at the Rose Bowl in the past few minutes?
President Josiah Bartlet: No.
Morris Tolliver: Then it's not that good.

President Josiah Bartlet: Your wife's beautiful, too. How'd you get her to marry you? Did you trick her or something?
Morris Tolliver: Hypnosis.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yeah, I figured.

President Josiah Bartlet: [referring to the newborn child of Navy Physician Tolliver, who's examining him] So how's the kid?
Morris Tolliver: Ten days old today.
President Josiah Bartlet: Can she spell anything yet?
Morris Tolliver: No, sir.

President Josiah Bartlet: [looking at a picture of Doctor Tolliver's wife and newborn daughter, after asking whether the doctor has a picture of the baby] Oh, she's beautiful! What's her name?
Morris Tolliver: Angela's my wife. Corey is our daughter. It was my grandmother's name. She got it from her great aunt, who got it from the first free woman she ever met.
President Josiah Bartlet: Hmm, that name's got a hell of a past.
Morris Tolliver: My family's very proud of our past, as you can tell.

President Josiah Bartlet: [the President is talking as Navy Physician Tolliver takes his blood pressure; he's inquiring about the doctor's plans for an imminent trip to the Middle East] What's in Jordan?
Morris Tolliver: Amman.
President Josiah Bartlet: You should stay here. We got Amman, a woman, little kids... the works.
Morris Tolliver: [proceeding with the check-up as if the President hadn't said anything] 131 over 84.
President Josiah Bartlet: See, that was a joke.
Morris Tolliver: [in a deadpan, monotone delivery] Good one.
President Josiah Bartlet: Everybody's a critic today.