Ruben Santiago-Hudson: Morris Tolliver

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc

Morris Tolliver

President Josiah Bartlet: What is that?
Morris Tolliver: It's a flu shot.
President Josiah Bartlet: I don't need a flu shot.
Morris Tolliver: You do need a flu shot.
President Josiah Bartlet: How do I know this isn't the start of a military coup?
Morris Tolliver: Sir...
President Josiah Bartlet: I want the Secret Service in here right away.
Morris Tolliver: In the event of a military coup, sir, what makes you think the Secret Service is going to be on your side?
President Josiah Bartlet: [pause] Now that's a thought that's going to fester.

President Josiah Bartlet: It's not like I'm totally without experience, you know.
Morris Tolliver: Yes, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: You're talking to a former governor. I was commander-in-chief of the New Hampshire National Guard.
Morris Tolliver: You guys get into a lot of tough scrapes, did ya?
President Josiah Bartlet: We didn't have to. We'd just stand on the border and stare you down. Then we'd all go for pancakes.

President Josiah Bartlet: Jokes like that are part of my folksy charm, Morris. It's at the very heart of my popularity.
Morris Tolliver: Don't you have a job approval rating of like 3% or something?
President Josiah Bartlet: Well, we're having some difficulty getting the word out.

[a Navy doctor is checking the president's pulse]
President Josiah Bartlet: So, how's my pulse?
Morris Tolliver: Have you been running up and down the stairs at the Rose Bowl in the past few minutes?
President Josiah Bartlet: No.
Morris Tolliver: Then it's not that good.

President Josiah Bartlet: Your wife's beautiful, too. How'd you get her to marry you? Did you trick her or something?
Morris Tolliver: Hypnosis.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yeah, I figured.

President Josiah Bartlet: [referring to the newborn child of Navy Physician Tolliver, who's examining him] So how's the kid?
Morris Tolliver: Ten days old today.
President Josiah Bartlet: Can she spell anything yet?
Morris Tolliver: No, sir.

President Josiah Bartlet: [looking at a picture of Doctor Tolliver's wife and newborn daughter, after asking whether the doctor has a picture of the baby] Oh, she's beautiful! What's her name?
Morris Tolliver: Angela's my wife. Corey is our daughter. It was my grandmother's name. She got it from her great aunt, who got it from the first free woman she ever met.
President Josiah Bartlet: Hmm, that name's got a hell of a past.
Morris Tolliver: My family's very proud of our past, as you can tell.

President Josiah Bartlet: [the President is talking as Navy Physician Tolliver takes his blood pressure; he's inquiring about the doctor's plans for an imminent trip to the Middle East] What's in Jordan?
Morris Tolliver: Amman.
President Josiah Bartlet: You should stay here. We got Amman, a woman, little kids... the works.
Morris Tolliver: [proceeding with the check-up as if the President hadn't said anything] 131 over 84.
President Josiah Bartlet: See, that was a joke.
Morris Tolliver: [in a deadpan, monotone delivery] Good one.
President Josiah Bartlet: Everybody's a critic today.