William Sadler: Darrin Tyler

Pink Flamingos

Darrin Tyler

Darrin Tyler: So, I hear you went to your reunion.
Jaye Tyler: You talked to Mom?
Darrin Tyler: Yeah, well, we sleep together.
[Jaye opens the car door for him]
Darrin Tyler: Thank you. Listen, I'm, uh... I'm sorry if you felt pressured to go because of me.
Jaye Tyler: Oh, please. I forgive you.
Darrin Tyler: So, you had no fun at all?
Jaye Tyler: I think it's fair to say you had more fun when I ran you over. But I'm glad I went.
Darrin Tyler: Well, I'm glad you ran me over.
Jaye Tyler: Ha ha.
Darrin Tyler: No, I'm serious. You're my good luck charm. You know those pointless, routine tests that they held me for? They found a blood clot in my leg, deep in a vein. It could have killed me. Thanks to you, they found it in time.
Jaye Tyler: But you're gonna be okay?
Darrin Tyler: I'm great. I'm going to breakfast with my daughter.
[Jaye starts the engine]
Darrin Tyler: Use your mirrors. Say, did you know our basic cable comes with lesbian porn?

Darrin Tyler: [moving trash toters from the driveway] Can't believe they'd leave a mess like this.
Muse: [to Jaye through a flamingo yard decoration] Get off your ass.
Jaye Tyler: He's fine! You're fine, right?
Darrin Tyler: Just a couple more. I'll manage.
Jaye Tyler: See? He's managing.
Muse: Just get off your ass.
Jaye Tyler: I'm not listening.
[she rolls the car window up, then sees more flamingo decorations outside the driver's side door]
Jaye Tyler: The service industry is a noble profession. I don't want you comparing yourself unfairly to the achievements of your siblings.
Jaye Tyler: [closing the door] Go away.
[she accidentally bumps the gear shift, and the car starts rolling backward]
Darrin Tyler: There are many ways to measure success, and you are not the... sweetheart, the car is rolling! The car is... ooh, ooh! Oh, God! Oww!

Darrin Tyler: You know, I have to say, your sister really enjoyed her reunion.
Jaye Tyler: Yeah, Sharon also enjoyed 4-H.
[seeing a flamingo yard decoration move, she groans]
Darrin Tyler: Hate to see you miss out. That's all.
Jaye Tyler: Yeah. I'll just wear my smock from the store. It already has my name stitched into the vest. I won't even have to wear a sticker.
Darrin Tyler: Don't denigrate what you do.
Jaye Tyler: I sell plastic canoes and refrigerator magnets.

Darrin Tyler: These came for you. "Can't wait. Save the date. Rooster class of '98."
Jaye Tyler: Oh, God. More?
Darrin Tyler: Maybe it's time you put in that change of address with the post office.
Jaye Tyler: If I do that, these people will know where I live.
Darrin Tyler: Lots of people live in trailer parks. There's no shame to it.
Jaye Tyler: Who said I was ashamed?
Darrin Tyler: Good! Then there's no reason for you to skip your ten-year reunion.
Jaye Tyler: Right, because it's only been six and a half years. I don't miss these people yet, and I don't think that's a problem time can solve.
Darrin Tyler: [looking out his car's rearview mirror] Those sons of biscuits.
Jaye Tyler: I know, huh?
[looking out the back window, they see the trash toters blocking the driveway]
Jaye Tyler: Oh.

Jaye Tyler: [accidentally putting her father in the hospital] How many fractures before it's multiple?
Darrin Tyler: Two.
Jaye Tyler: How many do you have?
Darrin Tyler: Seven.
Sharon Tyler: And people say you're an underachiever.
Karen Tyler: This isn't a criticism. I'm just curious. How do you run someone down from the passenger seat?

Darrin Tyler: [finding their trash toters blocking the driveway] You have any idea how much those sanitation jokers make in a year?
Jaye Tyler: A lot?
Darrin Tyler: [going to move them] Enough to have a little pride in a job well done. This is just sloppy! There's no pride here.
Jaye Tyler: It *is* garbage.