David Duchovny credited as playing...
Fox Mulder
- Gordy: So, how was your first night? Peaceful?
- Mulder: It was wonderful. We just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats. Isn't that right, honey bunch?
- Dana Scully: That's right, poopy head.
- [Mulder and Scully are undercover as newlyweds]
- Win Shroeder: So, where'd you two meet?
- Mulder: Actually it was a UFO conference.
- Win Shroeder: Flying saucers? Interesting. Wouldn't have thought you folks would've been into that.
- Mulder: Well it's not me so much as Laura.
- [puts his arm around Scully]
- Mulder: She's quite the new-ager. She's into those magnetic bracelets and crystals and mood rings, what have you. I mean, God bless her, she's a sucker for all that stuff.
- [undercover as newlyweds, Mulder taps the bed suggestively]
- Mulder: Come on, Laura. We're married now.
- Dana Scully: Scully. Mulder, good night.
- [a bulldozer is tearing up the front lawn; the neighbors watch in horror]
- Pat Verlander: What in God's name are you doing?
- Mulder: Putting in a pool!
- Dana Scully: Third warning... toilet seat
- [Mulder jumps on bed. Scully comes out of bathroom with lime green face mask on... Mulder looks up at her in shock]
- Mulder: D'OH !
- [Mulder in bed pats the covers several times as he looks at Scully raising his eye brows like Groucho Marx beckoning her to come lie in bed with him]
- Mulder: Come on Laura... were married now
- Dana Scully: It's Scully... Mulder... Good night
- Mulder: [Mulder gets outta bed as he passes Scully] The thrill is gone
- Gene Gogolak: FBI? What did I do?
- Mulder: Let's start with the Klines. You're responsible for them being in little pieces in my front yard. You gave them that lawn ornament. The guy with the axe.
- Gene Gogolak: Whirligig.
- Mulder: Yeah, whirligig. It's tacky enough to break your rules and your CCRs - tacky enough to mark the Klines for death.
- Gene Gogolak: Won't that sound good in a court of law? When the judge asks you who killed the Klines, what exactly are you going to tell him?
- Mulder: [Looking around Gogolak's house he finds] A tulpa. It's a Tibetan thought-form. It's a living, breathing creature willed into existence by someone who possesses that ability - an ability I think you picked up on your whirligig-buying excursions to the Far East. Why'd you do it? I mean, is it so damn important for everybody to have the same color mailbox?
- Gene Gogolak: It's important that people fit in.
- Mulder: But you didn't know exactly what you were getting into, did you? I mean, you can summon its existence, but... You can give it life, but you can't control it. The best you can hope for is to stay out of its way.
- Gene Gogolak: Son, my lawyers are going to make you sound so stupid that not only will I never see the inside of a jail cell, but you'll be signing all your paychecks straight to me.
- Win Shroeder: Sweetheart, did you use the dolphin-safe tuna this time?
- Cami Schroeder: Dolphin-safe all the way, Honey.
- Win Shroeder: We always use the dolphin-safe.
- Mulder: You gotta love those dolphins, although they're pretty tasty too.