David Duchovny credited as playing...
Fox Mulder
- Fox Mulder: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who's already naked.
- Dana Scully: Maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky.
- Fox Mulder: [Scully enters his motel room with a tray of wine and cheese] Who cut the cheese?
- Dana Scully: Since you won't be making it to the conference.
- Fox Mulder: Mmm, par-tay!
- Dana Scully: However, I must remind you, this goes against the Bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment.
- Fox Mulder: Try any of that Tailhook crap on me, Scully, I'll kick your ass.
- Dana Scully: Mulder, you don't want me to sing. I can't carry a tune.
- Fox Mulder: Doesn't matter. Just sing anything.
- Dana Scully: [singing in stilted, off-key manner] Jeremiah was a bullfrog / Was a good friend of mine / Never understood a single word he said / But I helped him drink his wine...
- Fox Mulder: Chorus.
- Dana Scully: Joy... to the world / All the boys and girls / Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea / Joy to you and me...
- Agent Stonecypher: Have you ever been to a team seminar, Agent Mulder?
- Fox Mulder: No. You know, unfortunately around this time of year, I always develop a severe hemorrhoidal condition.
- Dana Scully: Mulder? We've got this conference. They're waiting.
- Fox Mulder: Yeah. How do I say this without using any negative words, Scully?
- Dana Scully: You want me to tell them that you're not going to make it to this year's teamwork seminar.
- Fox Mulder: Yeah. You see that? We don't need that conference. We have communication like that - unspoken. You know what I'm thinkin'.
- Agent Kinsley: Last year, was something of a personal revelation. We were doing an exercise called "team builders" where we were given two minutes to build a tower out of ordinary office furniture.
- Agent Stonecypher: When I stood on Mike's shoulders and I put that electric pencil sharpener on top of the pile, we both knew, we could never have done it alone.
- Fox Mulder: [whispering to Scully] Kill me now.
- Fox Mulder: [Scully tries to cradle the injured Mulder in her arms] I don't wanna wrestle.
- Dana Scully: [chuckles] Get over here. I'm going to try to keep you warm.
- Agent Stonecypher: [to Scully] Oh, did you play that game where, um, you couldn't use any negative words?
- Agent Kinsley: I couldn't believe how hard it was not to use the word "but."
- Fox Mulder: [derisively] I'm having that same problem right now.
- Fox Mulder: Hey, who did you identify with when you were a kid, Wilma or Betty?
- Dana Scully: I identified with Betty's bustline.
- Fox Mulder: Yes. I did, too.
- Dana Scully: You ever thought seriously about dying?
- Fox Mulder: Yeah, once, when I was at the Ice Capades.