Seed

SEED is yet another Uwe Boll film. If it had been made by any other Director, it would be pure cinematic slurry. However, as Boll movies go, it's almost, sort of worthwhile.

From its nonsensical, graphically-real animal cruelty opening, to the eternal, CGI-laden, head pulverizing sequence, it's a brain-dissolving experience. Still, compared with other offerings from the maestro, it's an absurd masterpiece!...

While Uwe Boll is a terrible technician this movie, like many of his others, has an amazing take home message and awesome aesthetic. I always feel that I could shoot this on my black magic. Yet you cannot underestimate how in touch he is with contemporary feelings.

Over the past year, Uwe Boll has shown marginal improvement as a filmmaker, cranking out the competent "In the Name of the King" (a "Lord of the Rings" clone) and the proudly vulgar, post-9/11 satire "Postal." But then came "Seed," and the counter was reset to Zero, keeping his bid for legitimacy and respect that much further out of reach. And I'm a fan of the guy–his films exhibit a uniquely screwball vision, and are never dull.

Spawned from his frustration over the savage notices his early films received, "Seed" is a colossally misguided attempt at social commentary, and an even worse jab at creating an iconic slasher mythology (Boll often seems to be taking a page from Rob Zombie's successful reboot of "Halloween"). The antagonist is Maxwell Seed (Will Sanderson), a mute, hulking brute who's slain 666 people and sits on death row, awaiting execution; after unsuccessfully frying the beast, he rises from the grave to seek revenge on those who put him there...and so begins a string of wholly gratuitous mayhem.

Trying to create a new-millennium slasher in the vein of Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees, Max Seed is too nondescript and boring to leave an impression, ultimately resembling a washed-up pro wrestler doing "The Toolbox Murders" on a succession of equally boring victims. Furthermore, Seed's character and Boll's "message" run contrary to one another: the death penalty is wrong, sure, but are we really expected to sympathize with a soulless killer who's left a couple hundred corpses in his wake? I think not.

Meanwhile, Michael Pare acts like a listless, long-lost brother to James Remar's character on "Dexter": a cop who sits at his desk a lot, thumbing through newspaper clippings, and watching pointless stop-motion scenes of decomposing animals and people trapped in Seed's lair. By the time he and a bunch of cardboard cops storm Seed's hideout, the sequence is so drawn-out, ill-conceived (the lighting is almost non-existent), and unexciting (despite a healthy dose of gore) that it almost put me to sleep.

The shoddy film-making isn't limited to just that sequence: "Seed" appears to have been shot by a drunken cinematographer, since the camera bobs and weaves endlessly, a technique that's more stomach-turning than the gore itself; these protracted takes of very little happening only draw attention to the meandering, almost non-existent narrative. At 90 minutes, the film is distended enough to be considered a form of torture, which might have been Boll's intent all along.

Pure genius...I guess the joke's on me.

Director Uwe Boll is commonly regarded as a terrible film-maker, and his sick psycho killer flick Seed is unlikely to radically alter this general perception, being an absolute mess in the script department; however, if nothing else, it does prove that Boll has balls.

Packed full of sadistic, no-holds-barred violence, the film is truly nasty stuff from start to finish, the director clearly not intending to make any new friends; as a result, I can't help but feel a sneaking admiration for this movie maverick, a man for whom the words 'quit', 'diplomacy' and 'restraint' obviously do not exist.

During the opening credits, Boll even has the nerve to show PETA footage depicting real-life atrocities perpetrated on defenceless animals; I can only guess that this was an attempt to show the viewer just how inhumane people can be, but it comes across as a cheap tactic to shock the audience.

Thankfully, everything from here on in is achieved through special effects, although with numerous graphic murders, a baby among the many victims, it's still definitely not for the easily offended. A prolonged hatchet attack on an elderly woman is perhaps the film's most nauseating moment (although as this particular spot of carnage escalates, the somewhat iffy CGI makes it slightly less effective).

Yes, Boll sure knows how to upset and disturb; all he needs to do now is perfect telling a decent story (one that isn't so obviously flawed), hire a decent lighting technician (some scenes were way too dark), and he might be able to silence his critics without having to punch their lights out.

4.5/10, rounded up to 5 for IMDb.

Violence in the raw would be a good way to describe this movie. The opening disclaimer tells us that some of the initial documentary style footage is supposedly real... it may be, but that's not the point. The point is that it's a very upfront presentation of violence and whoever seems to be doing it, also seems to be enjoying it to a degree. The remainder of the film is to a degree just like that. The shaky camera hovering all about over people's shoulders in longer than usual shot lengths is actually us watching in. Nosing in and out and all about trying to get a peek at how a criminal to be executed is tied to the final chair that he will ever sit in. Or the long, painfully long, shot of a woman getting beaten with her head eventually winding up as a gory stub.

Uwe Boll was never too good with carrying plots, but he sure has ideas and he is getting better at presenting them. There is no real plot here really, but more of a series of disturbing gruesome events. Perhaps surprisingly, the film is not exploitative like a typical slasher movie and the gore is hardly enjoyable. In fact, as far as marketing goes, that effectively makes the film bite its own foot, but it's an interesting decision. Infamous Uwe is developing as filmmaker and with a film like this I am actually kind of eager to see what he has next after this Anti-"slasher film" Film. --- 6/10

BsCDb Classification: 16+ --- violence/gore, brutality