Greg Bryk credited as playing...
- Royce: What are you, are you like Satan worshipers?
- Abel: Hey hey, zip zip zip. You are not worthy to utter his name! But yes, we do bask in the light of the dark lord.
- Abel: Let's begin. Todd Crenshaw, are you willing to renounce all loyalty to God and Jesus Christ?
- Todd: Yeah man!
- Abel: Do you swear allegiance to the prince of darkness?
- Todd: I do.
- Treena: It's 'I swear' Todd! Not I do!
- Seamus: You're not getting married.
- Treena: Jesus Christ!
- Abel: You know what, watch your mouth little missy!
- Treena: [screaming] I know! I know! Okay!
- Abel: [yelling back] I'll wash your mouth out with soap!
- Abel: One little Satanic ritual. Is that too much to ask?
- [as a bunch of midgets dressed as medieval knights attack his car]
- Abel: Grow up!
- Abel: Be gone. Walk with Satan. Don't step on the pentagram!
