Trey Parker credited as playing...
Stan Marsh • Eric Cartman • Mr. Garrison • Airport Security • Airport Announcer • Cousin Kyle • Man in Airport #1 • Man in Airport #2 • Officer Barbrady • Randy Marsh • Ms. Choksondik • Tom the News Reader • Jeff Arrando • Donald Trump • Steve Jobs • Elderly Lady #1 • Elderly Lady #2 • John Travolta • Government Agent #2 • Government Agent #4
- Mr. Garrison: [FBI Agents are reposessing Mr. Garrison's Its'] Excuse me, what the hell are you doing?
- FBI Agent 2: It's all right, we're with the government. We're just shutting you down.
- Mr. Garrison: Shutting me down? Why?
- FBI Agent 2: The airlines are in desparate trouble. Your vehicle is causing them to lose money.
- Mr. Garrison: Yeah well that was the point, dingleberry. Put that down!
- FBI Agent 1: Right, so the government is bailing the airlines out again by shutting you down and making Its illegal.
- Mr. Garrison: Oh God dammit! You better be kidding!
- FBI Agent 2: Sir, many people work for the airlines. We can't let them all be fired.
- Mr. Garrison: The airline companies are losing money because of their own incompetence and their own inefficiency!
- FBI Agent 1: That may be true, but if you build, sell or ride another It, it will be the last time. Have a nice night.
- Mr. Garrison: AAH! Airline motherfuckers! You pieces of shit! Cock sucking, son of a bitch AIRLINES!
- [Kyle's Cousin, who also is a Jew, is sitting in the 4th grade with the rest of the boys. He isn't comfortable and is moving around]
- Mrs. Choksondik: If you are gonna be in my classroom you're gonna have to concentrate.
- Cartman: Maybe we should send him to concentration camp!
- Kyle: My cousin's been here for two weeks and he's driving me insane. I've spent five years in this town making a good name for Jews and this... This stereotype shows up and wrecks it all. You know what my biggest fear is? It's that I'll become him. That some how his mannerisms will rub off on me and I'll become a stereotype. I mean I'm a Jew and he's making me hate Jews.
- Stan: Dude, a self-hating Jew, you ARE becoming a stereotype.
- Kyle: You see?
- Mr. Garrison: Gentlemen, imagine being able to travel safely at incredibly fast speeds and not having to go to the stupid fart face airports.
- Mr. Garrison: What do you think, Mr. Marsh? You ready to put a down payment on that baby?
- Randy Marsh: Well yeah, but I just had one question about how it works. Well, it seems all the buttons on these front and rear flexi-grips are also found on the side of the vehicle.
- Mr. Garrison: Yep.
- Randy Marsh: So, they don't really do anything.
- Mr. Garrison: Right.
- Randy Marsh: So then, couldn't I just order one that works without going in and out of my ass and mouth?
- Mr. Garrison: [pause] ... Well, I guess you could.
- Customers: Huh? What's that? What'd he say?
- Kyle: Kyle, I told you, all kids in Colorado play hide and seek at the airport.
- Stan: Yeah, as soon as we get to the concourse you'll see how much fun it is.
- Kyle: This is taking too long. That flight to Connecticut is gonna leave. Hey! Can we speed things up here?
- Security Officer George: Duh sorry, but ever since that It thing came out, the airlines have had to cut back on employees.
- Kyle: Dude, we're the only ones here. How long does it take to get five people through security?
- Security Officer George: Let's see... Five people plus times, divided... Two hours domestic, three hours international.
- Kyle's Cousin: Can't we just play hide and seek at home?
- Kyle: No!
- Security Officer George: Aha! What's this?
- [removes toe nail clipper from Kenny's coat]
- Security Officer George: A toe nail clipper! Die, terrorist!
- [shoots Kenny in the head]
- Security Officer George: See, we do these checks for a reason.