Mr. Lawrence: Plankton • Pirate

Dying for Pie/Imitation Krabs

Plankton • Pirate

Plankton: I'll never get the formula with Krabs popping in and out like that. I've got it! I've been saving this for a rainy day.
[holds up a penny]
Plankton: It looks like an ordinary penny, because it *is* an ordinary penny! That fool Krabs is too greedy to resist you, my little pretty.

SpongeBob SquarePants: I think I'll just ask you two a couple of questions. Questions only the real Mr. Krabs could answer.
Mr. Krabs: Okay then.
SpongeBob SquarePants: First question: what time does the Krusty Krab open?
Plankton: 9:30 AM.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Right! That's one strike, Mr. Fake.
Mr. Krabs: But...
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh-uh! I'm running this quiz show, I'll ask the questions. If there's gonna be any "buts", they're gonna be from me. OK, question number two: How much does a Krabby Patty cost?
Mr. Krabs: $2.99!
SpongeBob SquarePants: ...on Wednesday.
Plankton: 99 cents.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Right again! You're starting to look pretty phony right about now. I'd be nervous if I were you. Now, only the really real Mr. Krabs could answer this: if we're discussing the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding, what do we do?
Mr. Krabs: That's an easy one! Let's see, if it's January, with vanilla pudding, we... uh, pass?

[Plankton just created a robot version of Mr. Krabs]
Robot Krabs: Mr. Squidward!
Squidward: What now, Mr. Krabs?
Robot Krabs: That's right, I am Krabs, your boss, your ruler, your master!
[Plankton laughs evily, while Squidward looks at the robot version of Mr. Krabs]
Squidward: You're not Mr. Krabs.
Robot Krabs: Hey, why don't you take the rest of the day off?
Squidward: [laughing] Well... whatever you say, "Mr. Krabs"! Whoopee!
[Squidward then leaves the Krusty Krab]

Plankton: [in disguise] Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?
SpongeBob SquarePants: [looking in a mirror] Why, yes. Yes, I am.
Plankton: Then you've just won one million dollars!
[SpongeBob gasps with delight]
Plankton: You just have to answer one question. What is the Krabby Patty secret formula?
[SpongeBob inhales]
Plankton: Yes?
[SpongeBob inhales more]
Plankton: Yes?
[SpongeBob inhales even more]
Plankton: Yes?
SpongeBob SquarePants: [in one breath] The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property of the Krusty Krab and is only to be discussed in part or in whole with its creator, Mr. Krabs. Duplication of this formula is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary.

[in a robotic Mr. Krabs]
Computer: Coin-operated self-destruct sequence activated. Five seconds till detonation.
Plankton: Coin-operated Self-destruct, not one of my better ideas.

Mr. Krabs: Well, if I were a robot, which I'm not, at least I'm well put together, not some rusted-up, steam-driven pile of junk.
Plankton: Who are you calling steam driven?

Mr. Krabs: [spots Spongebob about to give Plankton the formula] How could you do it Spongebob? Giving me secret formula to this impostor?
Plankton: Don't listen to him Spongebob. Remember: Ravioli, ravioli give me the formuoli
Mr. Krabs: Spongebob no, don't listen to him, I'm the real Mr. Krabs!
Plankton: Don't listen to him, he's obviously a robot.
[smoke comes out of the suit's exhaust pipe]
Mr. Krabs: Well if I were a robot, which I'm not, at least I'm well put together, not some rusted out, steam driven piece of junk!
Plankton: Who are you calling steam driven?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Quiet!
[holds up a hose while breathing heavily and his eyes are bloodshot]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Until I know who the real Mr.Krabs is, nobody moves
[reveals the hose is attatched to a machine dispensing tarter sauce]
SpongeBob SquarePants: nobody gets hurt.

Plankton: [asking for the secret formula while disguised as Mr. Krabs] Formula time?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Almost
Narrator: Six and a half hours later.
[Plankton uses the robot suit to launch himself out of a cannon]
Plankton: [Spongebob gives him some spaghetti which he dumps into the robot suit] Yum yum, this spaghetti sure is good, belch.
Plankton, SpongeBob SquarePants: [singing] Meatball, meatball, spaghetti underneath, ravioli, ravioli, Great Barrier Reef!
Plankton: Okay let's hear that formula!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Sorry Mr. Krabs no can do.
[Plankton's robot suit's eyes catch on fire]
Plankton: [in a very robotic voice] Whaaaaat?
[cut to Plankton inside the suit]
Plankton: But we did everything you said!, I followed all the rules!, I even ate 105 black licorice jelly beans through a straw!, Now why won't you tell me the formula?
SpongeBob SquarePants: It's your rule, never speak the formula, you told me to keep it in...
[holds up a little bottle with a scroll in it]
SpongeBob SquarePants: this bottle.

SpongeBob SquarePants: [scrubbing the floor while singing] Scrub a-dub-dub, I love to rub
[Plankton rolls over in his robot suit of Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, hey Mr. Krabs just doing a little scrubbing
Plankton: Hello, SpongeBob, it is me, Mr. Krabs.
[smoke comes out of the exhaust pipe]
Plankton: In the flesh.
[exhaust pipe smokes again]
Plankton: Standing right in front of you.
[pipe smokes again]
Plankton: With no one else around.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I can see that Mr. Krabs
Plankton: I thought we might discuss the Krabby Patty secret formula.
[a microphone comes out of the Robot Krabs]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [points at it] Isn't that a microphone?
Plankton: What? Why, yes it is.
[puts the microphone back inside his body]
Plankton: I must get this shirt cleaned. Alright, now tell me the secret formula.
SpongeBob SquarePants: But, sir, we haven't done the secret handshake yet.
Plankton: [offers the suit's hand] Oh yes. Here, let's shake.
SpongeBob SquarePants: [laughs] We don't shake with our hands, remember?
Plankton: Uh, right, why don't you start?
SpongeBob SquarePants: We stand on one foot. Balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads and sing the Bikini Bottom National Anthem.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Plankton: [singing] Oh, Bikini Bottom, we pledge our hearts to you, as faithful, as deep, as true, as blue, Bikini Bottom, we love you!