Charlie Day credited as playing...
Charlie Kelly
- Dennis Reynolds: [while training Charlie to become an underground fighter] Why don't you punch this board?
- [Dennis grabs a board and holds it up]
- Charlie Kelly: Okay. Hold it steady for me. Watch your eyes.
- [Charlie punches the board and groans in pain]
- Mac: That looks like it stings.
- Charlie Kelly: Oh my god! What is that made out of?
- Dennis Reynolds: It's a board so it's, you know, made out of wood.
- Mac: It's like particle board.
- Charlie Kelly: It's like harder than wood, dude.
- Mac: It's actually softer than wood.
- Dee Reynolds: [upon finding her steroids are gone] Who took my shit?
- Charlie Kelly: [quietly] I might have had some.
- Dee Reynolds: What did you just say, you little bitch?
- Charlie Kelly: I might have had some of your pills or whatever.
- Dee Reynolds: Oh yeah?
- [Dee walks over to Charlie and gets in his face]
- Dee Reynolds: [filled with rage] I am gonna punch a hole through your face!
- Dee Reynolds: Rocky IV is not the greatest move of all time.
- Dennis Reynolds: What do you consider to be a good movie?
- Dee Reynolds: I don't know, Million Dollar Baby or something.
- Dennis Reynolds: Are you serious? No way!
- Dee Reynolds: It won an Oscar!
- Charlie Kelly: It has Stallone punching a Russian's face in to all smithereens!
- Mac: Lifting anvils and shit, pulling a truck through snow.
- Dennis Reynolds: Million Dollar Baby is totally unrealistic. Girls can't fight, they don't have muscles.
- Dee Reynolds: That is a horribly sexist thing to say.
- Dennis Reynolds: It's not sexist, it's just truthful, you know.
- Charlie Kelly: Girls can't pull trucks through snow.
- Dee Reynolds: Could you pull a truck through snow?
- Charlie Kelly: I absolutely could!
- Dee Reynolds: You can barely walk through the snow, Charlie.
- Dennis Reynolds: That is true.
- Charlie Kelly: Okay, is the truck in Park or Neutral?
- Mac: That is a good question.