Phil Vischer credited as playing...
Bob the Tomato • Archibald Asparagus - Billboy Baggypants • Mr. Nezzer - Randolf • Jimmy Gourd - Leg-O-Lamb • Pa Grape - Grumpy • Mr.Lunt - Ahem • Lead Scallion - Scaryman
- Billboy Baggypants: Today is my twelvety twoth birthday. I'm twice as tall as half of you and half as short as twice of you.
- Randolf: Unnatural creatures forged by Scaryman himself. Half spoon, half fork.
- Junior Asparagus - Toto Baggypants: You mean...
- Randolf: Sporks. They are his utensils. And they do his bidding.
- Leg-O-Lamb: [ripping the fake ears off Ear-O-Corn, dressed as Elvis] I KNEW it!
- Larry the Cucumber - Ear-O-Corn: What?
- Leg-O-Lamb: You should be ashamed of yourself! You're no Elf! You're an Elvish impersonator! You sicken me, deceitful one.
- Larry the Cucumber - Ear-O-Corn: Oh right! Like YOU'RE a real elf! Give the gourd a bow and arrow and he's a REAL Elf!
- Junior Asparagus - Toto Baggypants: You were a Flobbit?
- Ahem: That's right. A perfectly normal Flobbit named Spiegel.
- Junior Asparagus - Toto Baggypants: You were that Flobbit? That Flobbit who bought everything mail order?
- Junior Asparagus - Toto Baggypants: So what happened?
- Ahem: To me? One day before ten a.m. I had created and consumed a two-hundred pound marshmallow Peep. Unfortunately I fell into a sugar coma. When I awoke three days later, the Bean was gone. And now look at me!
- Scaryman: Sporks! Save me!
- [other Elf shakes his head and hops off]
- Lead Spark: Cookie Man say No.
- [Sporks happily hop off behind Other Elf]
- Scaryman: Oh bother.