Bone Eater

All I can do is laugh. Wow. I like Jim Wynorski's movies, I really do. I mean, Chopping Mall is a classic. But this, what happened to this guy? He used to make funny horror movies, that tried to be good. But this was hardly even funny...I mean, I guess it was, because I laughed. The villain is incredible. I mean, horrible CGI. It looks...terrible. And the movie has no gore, and no nudity as redeeming qualities. It is rated PG-13. A movie named "Bone Eater" you know won't be a blockbuster movie, you know it probably won't have a smart script. A movie like this may rely on gore...but no. It doesn't rely on anything really, it's just...crap. Check it out if you want to laugh, though. But don't expect a good movie. I hope Jim Wynorski goes back to movies like Chopping Mall and Ghoulies IV, because this and Komodo Vs. Cobra ain't cutting it.

It's a low budget creature feature. Hundreds of them have been made over the decades with the same simple mindset. But people seemed to be entertained by them.

But lets get the facts straight. The movie was shot in California in an area called the Alabama Hills near the base of Mount Whitney.

We were diligent in getting script approval from the local Paiute Shoshone reservation to shoot a scene on their property and the co star Michael Horse is a Mescalero-Zuni Apache. None of these Native Americans had a problem or were offended by the story. I'm offended that you guys print something that is not based it fact and leads people to believe that we are somehow insensitive.

Call the movie what you will but the truth needs to be told about the people involved. A critique is one thing but to print statements that are untrue is another. Come on guys this should not be a PC courtroom.

I'm not really sure where to begin. From start to finish, bad, stinky bad, like stepping into a port-a-john on a 100 degree day. If you force yourself to watch this as I did, keep some Vicodin handy for the pain. I will never understand how flicks this bad make it past the cutting room without the entire reel ending up on the floor. The movie is a cross between Gumby rides Pokey, meets the terminator, meets Wally Beaver playing cowboys and Indians without the cowboys. I've seen better animation in the original cut of the Blob. You will get more entertainment from watching Gone with the Wind while suffering from the puke and poops. Bad acting and hokey lines will have you squirming and wishing you had rented Peewee's big Top or watched every episode of Gilligan's Island back to back. UGH..I'm going to go slit my wrist now.

A great cast, a fantastic CGI monster and a brilliant script. If this film had had any of those things then it might not have been amongst the worst films I've ever wasted an hour and a half on. Infinite chimpanzees with infinite typewriters have not yet written the complete works of Shakespeare but along the way this has appeared in their waste-paper bin and somehow it got made into a movie. You can tell the the actors regret signing those contracts with every word they mutter directly into camera. The CGI is amateurish in the extreme and they might have created more tension of the cast had been attacked with the Sinclair Spectrum it was created on. I wanted to like this film, it has nice cameo appearances by Gil Gerard and Walter Koenig so I expected a fun horror movie that didn't take itself too seriously. It actually does try to take itself seriously but is about as much fun as trip to the dentist. Do yourself a favour. Don't watch this movie, you'll only encourage them to make more.

I have made no secret of disliking SyFy's movies in general, though I see them for novelty value and because there are some that actually did on paper have decent ideas to work from. That was the case with Bone Eater, a good idea let down horribly by worse than bad execution. The acting is not great, neither is it terrible, though some of the cast are either over-eager or bland and the more likable actors in the movie are not given as much to do as they had potential to. Bruce Boxleitner is the best of the lot and he tries hard, though he's done better. But what could they do with a script that was so cheesy and sometimes childish in tone and characters that were so clichéd and the very anti-thesis of engaging. Not only have most of these characters been seen before many times whether in SyFy or not but often very irritating too, also like with the Sheriff and his daughter the relationships and development between characters are never fully explored. The story is dull, formulaic and far too silly for its own good with unexciting set pieces, a severe lack of suspense, an over-familiar and all too predictable inclusion of the villain(poorly written and over-compensated acting-wise) vs Native Americans angle logic lapses and a ridiculously contrived finale. The soundtrack sounds cheesy and even out of place apart from some atmospheric and rousing parts in the chase sequences, and the effects are both stiff and daft in look. Neat idea for the creature, but apart from the phantom skeleton horse, it looks pathetic and doesn't have any impact at all. The editing is often choppy too, there are the inevitable(and occasionally with SyFy fun to spot) continuity errors especially with the whole one hour left of daylight and it is still early afternoon thing, and the filming has moments where it is much too dark. Overall, bone-jarringly bad and one of SyFy's worst. 1/10 Bethany Cox