Hank Azaria credited as playing...
Dino-Dad • Prisoner • Krusty Telethon Announcer • Man Thanking MacGyver • Angus MacGyver • Moe Szyslak • Chief Wiggum
- Sideshow Bob: [Sideshow bob is watching TV with Selma]
- Man: Thank you, Señor MacGyver, you saved our village.
- MacGyver: Don't thank me, thank the Moon's gravitational pull.
- Selma: That MacGyver's a genius.
- Sideshow Bob: First of all, he's not a genius, he's an actor, and second, he's not *much* of an actor.
- Selma: You're lying! You're lying!
- Sideshow Bob: No Selma, this is lying: that was a well-plotted piece of nonclaptrap that never made me want to retch.
- Sideshow Bob: But wait. If you saved Selma, why did the room explode?
- Chief Wiggum: Oh, I'll field that one.
- [flashback: Wiggum, Lou, Eddie, and Homer are all lighting up cigars outside the hotel room]
- Chief Wiggum: [voice-over] Me and the boys were all celebrating a job well done, when I threw my match in the vicinity of the crime scene...
- [explosion]
- Chief Wiggum: Oh, right! The gas.
- Sideshow Bob: Bart, I must know how did you untangle my web?
- Homer Simpson: Yeah, Bart, clue us in.
- Bart: [looking at Chief Wiggum] I'd hate to tell the number-one cop in town how to do his job.
- Chief Wiggum: No, please, it's the only way I'll learn.
- Bart: All right. Sideshow Bob seemed desperate to get that fireplace, but why? Then it hit me - The gas! Surely anyone would have noticed a gas leak except Aunt Selma.
- Selma: [flashback] I permanently lost my sense of smell.
- Bart: She happily watched MacGyver unaware that her room was silently filling with natural gas. All it needed to explode was a single spark, say, from a cigarette.
- Selma: [flashback] I've decided to give up smoking except after meals and MacGyver.
- Bart: Her only hope was a plucky young boy and his slow-witted father. When Aunt Selma lights up after MacGyver she'll be blown to kingdom come.
- Homer Simpson: [flashback] Come again?
- Bart: After trying four times to explain it to Homer I explained it to Mom and we were on our way!
- Homer Simpson: [flashback] To the Simpson Mobile!
- Sideshow Bob: If you saved Selma, why did the room explode?
- Chief Wiggum: Oh, I'll field that one.
- Chief Wiggum: [flashback: The police and Homer smoking cigars] Me and my boys were celebrating on a job well done when I threw my match in the vicinity of the crime scene.
- Chief Wiggum: [flashback: The room explodes] Oh, right, the gas.
- Sideshow Bob: [being led away in handcuffs, laughing at the end] I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever. And when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.
- Selma: I feel like such a fool.
- Marge: Well, he fooled almost everyone. But there was one little boy who never lost his mistrust.
- Bart: Thanks, Mom. Now, let's get out of this gas-filled hallway before we all suffocate.
- Bart: Chief Wiggum, think you have room in your jail for a two-time loser?
- Chief Wiggum: Well, no, frankly, but that never stopped us before.
- [then laughs]