Phil Hartman credited as playing...
Troy McClure • Lionel Hutz
- Troy McClure: Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts. Who knows what adventures they'll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable?
- Troy McClure: Professor Lawrence Pierce of the University of Chicago writes, "I think Homer gets stupider every year." That's not a question, Professor.
- [last lines]
- Troy McClure: I'm Troy McClure, and I'll leave you with what we all came here to see: hardcore nudity!
- Troy McClure: Right about now, you're probably saying, "Troy, I've seen every Simpson's episode, You can't show me anything new."
- [menacing]
- Troy McClure: Well, you got some attitude, Mister.
- [cheerfully]
- Troy McClure: Besides, you're wrong! Because sometimes, episodes run long, and certain scenes never get aired. So fire up your VCR, because here, for the first time ever, are the cut-out classics.
- Troy McClure: This past summer, all of America was trying to solve the mystery of who shot Mr. Burns.
- [pause]
- Troy McClure: Then they found out it was the baby.
- [long pause, coughs]
- [Showing Simpsons "outtakes."]
- Troy McClure: If that's what they cut out, what they leave in must be pure gold.
- Lionel Hutz: Well, I didn't win. Here's your pizza.
- Marge Simpson: But we did win!
- Lionel Hutz: That's ok, the box is empty.
- Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such Fox Network specials as "Alien Nose Job" and "Five Fabulous Weeks of the Chevy Chase Show." Tonight we're here to honor America's favorite non-prehistoric cartoon family.