Hank Azaria credited as playing...
Carl • Demon • Blackbeard • Chief Wiggum • Vampires
- Marge Simpson: [Homer's Head is turned into a huge donut, and is eating it] Homer, stop picking at it.
- Homer Simpson: But, I'm so sweet and tasty.
- [Looks at his watch]
- Homer Simpson: Well, time to go to work.
- Lisa Simpson: [Getting in Homer's way] No dad. I wouln't go outside if I were you.
- Chief Wiggum: [With the rest of Springfield's police force waiting outside of the Simpson's home with their coffee mugs] Don't worry, boys, he's gotta come outta there sometime.
- [Homer is trapped in Hell for the day]
- Demonic Torturer: So, you like donuts, eh?
- Homer Simpson: Um-hmm.
- Demonic Torturer: Well, have all the donuts in the world!
- [the Demonic Torturer cackles while a machine stuffs Homer's mouth full of donuts. Dissolve to several hours later, the Demonic Torturer is baffled as Homer, whose body has gained a few extra hundred pounds, continues to eat and eat]
- Homer Simpson: More!
- Demonic Torturer: I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in fifteen minutes!
- Kent Brockman: Another local peasant has been found dead, drained of his blood with two teeth marks on his throat. This black cape was found on the scene.
- [the cape says "DRACULA"]
- Kent Brockman: Police are baffled.
- Chief Wiggum: We think we're dealing with a supernatural being, most likely a mummy. As a precaution, I've ordered the Egyptian Wing of the Springfield Museum destroyed.
- Marge: Wait! Before you send him to hell, there's something you should see. That's a photo of Homer and I at our wedding.
- Richard Nixon: Wait a minute. You got married in an emergency room?
- Marge: Well, Homer ate the entire wedding cake by himself... before the wedding.
- [the Jury of the Damned all laugh]
- Marge: Read the back, the back.
- Blackbeard: Arrr! 'Tis some sort of treasure map.
- Benedict Arnold: [snatches it away] You idiot, you can't read!
- Blackbeard: Aye, 'tis true. My debauchery was my way of compensatin'.
- [Marge has to find seats for the Jury of the Damned]
- Marge: I'm sorry, Mr. Blackbeard. We're low on chairs and this is the last one.
- Blackbeard: Arrr! This chair be high, says I.