Hank Azaria credited as playing...
Prisoner #1 • Chief Wiggum • Prisoner #4 • Lou • Tour Guide • Hangar Guard • Moe Szyslak • Gate Guard • Bumblebee Man • Emergency Broadcast Announcer • Search Detail #2 • Interceptor Pilot • Tank Driver
- [appearing on the stadium television]
- Sideshow Bob: Hello, Springfield. Sorry to divert your attention from all the big noises and shiny things. But something's been troubling me lately: television! Wouldn't our lives be so much richer if television were done away with?
- Moe: What?
- Dr. Hibbert: Surely he's not talking about VH-1.
- Sideshow Bob: Why, we could revive the lost arts of conversation and scrimshaw. Therefore I submit to you, we abolish television, permanently!
- Homer Simpson: Go back to Massachusetts, pinko!
- Sideshow Bob: Oh, and one more thing: I've stolen a nuclear weapon. If you do not rid this city of television in two hours, I will detonate it. Farewell.
- [Bob cuts the link. People start to panic, then Bob reappears]
- Sideshow Bob: By the way, I'm aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out.
- [Bart and Lisa run into a restriced Army Base, the front gate closes behind them]
- Marge: Wait!
- [to the guarding soldier]
- Marge: That's my children in there!
- Gate Guard: You should be very proud, ma'am.
- Chief Wiggum: All right, where's Sideshow Bob and that guy who uh, eats people and takes their faces?
- Prisoner: I'm right here, Chief.
- Chief Wiggum: OK, then. Where's Sideshow Bob?
- Prisoner: Eh, he ran off.
- Chief Wiggum: Oh, great. Well, if anyone asks, I uh, beat him to death.