James Gandolfini credited as playing...
Tony Soprano
- Construction Worker: [Tony and Silvio are looking for Vito after he's been outed as a homosexual. Tony calls Vito's cellphone. A construction worker picks the phone up off the side of the road] Hello?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone] Vito?
- Silvio Dante: You got him?
- Construction Worker: [on phone] Who?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone] Put Vito on the phone, asshole.
- Construction Worker: [on phone] Fuck you, motherfucker.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone] What, are you sucking his dick?
- Construction Worker: [on phone] Bet I'd kick your ass, you fucking faggot.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone, yelling] Yeah that's right, telephone tough guy! Put Vito on the phone!
- Construction Worker: [on phone] There ain't no Vito, man. I found the phone on the side of the road!
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone] What?
- Construction Worker: [on phone] Hang on a second!
- [the construction worker tosses Vito's phone under a steam roller]
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [on phone] Where'd you find the phone? Hello? Hello? Oh you motherfucker!
- Silvio Dante: What happened?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What? It's 2006, there's pillow biters in the special services.
- Silvio Dante: [Referring to Vito] Let me ask you something: For the sake of argument let's say he shows up, are you going to kiss this guy on both cheeks?
- [Tony remains silent]
- Silvio Dante: Take Paulie for example. You know perfectly well guys like him don't kick up their full percent to you. You look the other way, it's the price of doing business. By you cutting him some slack now that he's "out of the closet", it'll be just the excuse for guys to go off the reservation and start holding back some serious money.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: A lot of your circle must have done jail time. They can't be strangers to male-male sexual contact.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You get a pass for that.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well, that's nice.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well, what are you gonan do? There's no women there. You're there five, ten years.
- [pauses]
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Just for the record, my incarceration was very short term, so I never had any need for any anal... you know.
- Carlo Gervasi: [Asking Finn what he saw Vito was doing with the security guard] "Catching" not "pitching"?
- Finn Detrolio: [Nods] He's not going to know I told you?
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: You're going to have no problem from Vito, believe me.
- Finn Detrolio: [Nervously] What are you going to do?
- Christopher Moltisanti: It'll be ok, we'll get him into therapy.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Giving Finn money] Why don't you go out front, get yourself a sandwich and a soda? Any kind you like when we're done here, somebody will drive you back.
- [Finn takes the money and leaves]
- Christopher Moltisanti: [laughing] I want to kill the fat faggot myself. It'd be a fucking honor to cut off his pishadeel and feed it to him!
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to everybody] There's no mistake now.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [Yelling] I can't believe I stuck up for him. I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart.
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: We can't have him in our social club anymore, that much I do know.
- Carlo Gervasi: "Social club"? He's got to go.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I want to think about it.
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: I don't know...
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [Stands up yelling] *What the fuck is there to think about?*
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to paulie] Sit down.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [Yelling] Fuck that! I'll say it again, what the fuck is there to think about?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Yelling] Are you going to take care of his kids? When he's gone?
- Christopher Moltisanti: That's true. They didn't do anything, poor little guys.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [to tony] I'm sorry if I yelled. It's just... How much betrayal can I take?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Vito a fag, big construction tycoon. When he was always talking about "greasing the union, who knew that's what he meant?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to everybody] This stays in these four walls.
- Christopher Moltisanti: [after rushing into the Bada Bing strip club to tell everyone about Vito] You are not going to fuckin' believe this...
- James 'Murmur' Zancone: [Interrupts him, to everyone] Vito Spatafore is an "ass muncher".
- Tony Soprano: [to Murmur] What'd you just say?
- James 'Murmur' Zancone: I'm sorry, it's true.
- Christopher Moltisanti: We ran into this kid, Vito was spotted in a fag bar in New York.
- Tony Soprano: By who?
- Christopher Moltisanti: The kid's cousin... Allegedly.
- James 'Murmur' Zancone: Probably bullshit.
- Patsy Parisi: He's a married man.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: With a goomah!
- Tony Soprano: All right, back up a second. What did the kid say exactly?
- Christopher Moltisanti: The kid's cousin, Sally Cuzo...
- Carlo Gervasi: From Yonkers, I know him.
- Christopher Moltisanti: Sal was at this place in the city supposedly on business, and he saw Vito holding hands with a guy with nipple rings.
- James 'Murmur' Zancone: You're leaving out the best part.
- Christopher Moltisanti: He was wearing a motorcycle outfit like the guy in the Village People with the hat and leather vest.
- James 'Murmur' Zancone: Chaps too.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: I don't know... Fuckin' slander if you ask me.
- Tony Soprano: [suggesting to everyone to talk privately in the office] All right, let's take this in the back.
- James 'Murmur' Zancone: [Making a joke] Yeah, that's what Vito did!
- Tony Soprano: [Irritated, not amused by his joke] You can go.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [while entering the back office of the Bada Bing strip club] I'll tell you one thing: If it was me this kid was spreading rumors about, he'd have something up his own ass. And it wouldn't be no cock either.
- Carlo Gervasi: That's the point though. This guy Sal, I know him. He's a friend of ours.
- Christopher Moltisanti: I fuckin' called it, long time ago.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Referring to the Italian slang term for homosexuals] You knew Vito was "ricuin"?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Yes.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: When?
- Christopher Moltisanti: I never said it, but I knew.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Get the fuck out, huh? And enough of this "rush to judgment", for all we know this fuckin' Sal guy's got a hard on for Vito.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Christopher after he starts laughing] Oh, you think this is funny? There's a man's reputation at stake here!
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Married man, with kids.
- Carlo Gervasi: That don't mean shit. Elton John was married.
- Silvio Dante: Yeah. Rock Hudson too, I think.
- Christopher Moltisanti: So, what'd we got to do? Actually see him take it in the ass?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Patsy] Get Vito on the phone.
- Silvio Dante: You know he called me the other night? Three o'clock in the morning after the wedding.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: And?
- Silvio Dante: Honestly, it was weird. He wanted to know what was going on.
- Christopher Moltisanti: He was fuckin' fishing, see if we heard.
- Patsy Parisi: [to Tony, after calling Vito's cell phone] Straight to voicemail.
- Silvio Dante: Tone, I mean, he represents us.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I'm not going to condemn the man off the word from some fuckin' douche bag from Yonkers.
- Patsy Parisi: I could care less basically.
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Yeah? Maybe *you're* a "flambé"?
- Carlo Gervasi: Fuckin nauseating. If it was up to me I'd drag Vito behind my fuckin' car right now.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh, will you take it easy over there, fuckin' Judge Roy Bean?
- Christopher Moltisanti: One of my bar girls knows his goomah. Check with her maybe, she's seen him or knows where he is. Lauren.
- Carlo Gervasi: Think about it though, Tone. Sudden weight loss...
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [Shocked] AIDS?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Nobody's got AIDS! I don't want to hear that word in here again!
- Meadow Soprano: [sitting at the kitchen counter next to Finn] There's these poor hard-working people
- Carmela Soprano: Finn, you're not eating?
- Finn Detrolio: coffee's good
- Meadow Soprano: I meant it, the government's completely fucking this family over
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [while walking into the kitchen] when did it start that she can use that kind of language in this house with immunity?
- Meadow Soprano: I'm telling mom about these people who came into the office yesterday
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [jokingly] let me guess: was it a crack whore trying to get her kids back for the welfare money?
- Meadow Soprano: actually, it was a family from Afghanistan who fled the Taliban and sweat it out in a refugee camp and hold down three jobs
- Meadow Soprano: [to her father when he air plays a violin pretending to show sympathy, causing AJ to laugh] you think it's funny? The FBI snatched their son off the street like we're some third world dictatorship
- Finn Detrolio: It's pretty scary
- Carmela Soprano: There must've been some reason Meadow
- A.J. Soprano: Like he's a terrorist maybe?
- Meadow Soprano: [irritated, adamantly] 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, Bush is using it as an excuse to erode our Constitution protections and you're falling for it
- Carmela Soprano: I voted for him
- Meadow Soprano: Right, you don't relate to black people clinging to locks
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [as Meadow walks away] you ought to chill out on some of this
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [talking in code in front of Satriale's] The "thing" we talked about at the wedding...
- Christopher Moltisanti: [referring to killing him] Rusty? You made the call to Italy.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to Annalisa her assassins] Our "friend" over there is gonna "fit him" for a "suit". She's sending over two of her best "tailors".
- Christopher Moltisanti: So, I should meet them at the airport?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to getting them guns] No, they're gonna call you when they arrive. You "hook" them up with a third party, get them some "scissors".
- Christopher Moltisanti: [nods] This is smart, the more I think about it.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [sarcastically] I'm glad you approve.
- Christopher Moltisanti: Anybody taking a look, there's nothing linking us to it.
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [referring to Vito] You didn't know he was gay?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [lying] Actually, I had him "pegged" him the whole time
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Is he a close friend?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Not only that, his one of my most valuable guys, his ambitious, his focused. When I was in the hospital, he helped Carmela tremendously with his strength
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You've implied you have millions of dollars: your hospital stay was actually that costly?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well, no but the... huh? Is that the "issue"?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You tell me, what is the "issue"?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [adamantly] He's a fag!
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: and?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Now what I supposed to do?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: About what?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I know, their born that way, right? It's not their fault. Frankly, I think they go about and they pity themselves
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I don't think they see it as a "fault"
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: In your circle, I'm sure you all kinds of gays, trans... whatever's of all stripes but not where I come from
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You personally, how do you feel about homosexuality?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I find it disgusting: men kissing men, holding hands on the street. Every fuckin TV show they rub your nose in it but all that lesbian thing with Jennifer Beals, it's not bad. Is she a dyke in real life?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [when Melfi doesn't respond] I don't give too much of a shit what people do behind closed doors with consenting adults, don't forget, I'm a strict catholic. I agree with Senator Rick Santorum, he says if we let this stuff go too far, we'll be fuckin dogs
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I hear a lot of ambivalence
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: This guy got "outted." look, the guys that work for me are asking for head... his head, what the fuck? You know him and me, we're in the construction business and now some of these union old timers, the contractors, they're not gonna wanna be seen with him and I'm talkin huge deals: major fuckin dollars
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: A lot of your circle must have done jail time. They can't be strangers to male-male sexual contact
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You get a "pass" for that
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [sarcastically] That's nice
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What are you gonna do? There's no women there. You're there five, ten years. Just for the record, my incarceration was very short term, so I never had any need for any anal... you know...
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: So, this fella who's been "outted", what's he saying?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [suspiciously] You think I'm lying, don't you, about when I was in jail?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I've given you no indication I think your lying
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I suppose something inside me says "God bless", who gives a shit? I had a second chance, why shouldn't he?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: part of your new outlook?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Maybe?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I salute it then
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: It's a tall fuckin order, I'll tell you that
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: How so?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You can talk about everyday being a gift, and stop to "Smell the roses" but regular life's got a way at pickin at it. Your house, the shit you own, it drags you down, your kids, what they want, one bad idea after another. Trying to work a cell phone is enough to make you scream
- Carmela Soprano: [when he enters their bedroom, referring to leftovers in their refrigerator] there's some cold pasta
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: no, I ate already
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [after seeing all the paperwork on their bed] what's all that?
- Carmela Soprano: for the silent auction
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [jokingly, while getting undressed] my busy little beaver
- Carmela Soprano: [referring to her spec house project] not really. Look, I haven't wanted to bug you but before you got hurt, you said you would get that building inspector to "cut me some slack," so I can get back to my business
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [realizing he forgot] oh, yeah, right, right, I will
- Carmela Soprano: [seductively taps on his side of the bed] come here
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to the injury sustained from his gunshot wound by his uncle] no, I'm still not ready for that: last time I thought I tore something in my muscles
- Carmela Soprano: no, I got something for that scar
- Carmela Soprano: [when he lies down on their bed] vitamin E, my facialist said it'll help get the red out
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [while she applies the supplement onto the scar from his surgery] you were right about my uncle: all along
- Carmela Soprano: it doesn't give me any pleasure, believe me
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I should've cut him out of my life a long time ago. I brought this all on myself
- Carmela Soprano: you did not: don't ever think that
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: all this, you never once said "I told you so"
- Carmela Soprano: [before kissing him] "accentuate" the positive, I wanted you to get better
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: you know my shrink told me that I stood by Junior through all this jealousy and shit, to try to prove I'm a good guy
- Carlo Gervasi: you wanted to see me, Tone?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: yeah
- Silvio Dante: hey
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: sit, down. I'm putting in charge of all construction business: replacing Vito
- Carlo Gervasi: holy shit!
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: guys respect you across the board. You've real good with the ports
- Carlo Gervasi: I don't know what to say. Thank you, Tone. I don't know what to say
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: have a drink
- Silvio Dante: congratulations
- Carlo Gervasi: listen, since you're giving me this responsibility, I might as well be the one say
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: skip the preambles
- Carlo Gervasi: the guys in Vito's crew, they say if he was to come back, they'd refuse to take orders from him
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: oh, they do?
- Carlo Gervasi: not only that, couple of the other captains won't to talk to him, and I don't disagree. Paulie's especially, now that his accepted it, his the most out for Vito scalped
- Silvio Dante: yeah, you should hear him Tone, his going fuckin " Mau Mau " on the subject
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: it's not their fuckin who they work with. Let me tell you something: fuckin Vito with sheer hard work turned into my best earner. I don't even know if I'd have the new boat without him. His a "come from behind" kind of guy
- Carlo Gervasi: that's true but...
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I'm supposed to "burn" that kind of dedication? It's hard to believe I couldn't something more from him, if he were to come back. Stocks offshore shit, I don't know
- Carlo Gervasi: well, these other guys feel an effort should be made to find him and "put down" for the honor of the family
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: oh, please, huh? You know, certain people love the high drama like high school girls and others I could name they can't just wait to whack somebody, anybody
- Carlo Gervasi: but some people feel it's against our principles: a sin
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: let's be honest with ourselves here: we all know Vito's not the first. You'll do great things
- Carlo Gervasi: Jesus. Thanks again
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What? It's 2006, there's pillow biters in the special forces.
- Silvio Dante: Let me just ask you, for the sake of argument let's say he shows up, are you going to kiss this guy on both cheeks? Take Paulie, ok? You know perfectly well guys like him never kick up their full percent to you. You look the other way, it's the price of doing business. By you cutting Vito slack now that he's "out of the closet", it'll be just the excuse people will need to go off the reservation and start withholding serious money
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [ignores him] let me read in peace, will ya?