James Gandolfini credited as playing...
Tony Soprano
- Phil Leotardo: Anybody ever die in your arms, you cocksucker? A family member, somebody you love?
- Tony Soprano: No.
- Phil Leotardo: Well, give it time. See if I can't make that happen for you.
- Tony Soprano: [referring to Phil Leotardo, who just insulted Tony's crew and left the room] Was that fuckin' necessary? He shouldn't even have been here!
- John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni: He's got a right to be here. He's got a right to *a lot* of things right now.
- Tony Soprano: [referring to Tony Blundetto] My cousin acted alone. I did not sanction this.
- John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni: [referring sarcastically to JFK assassination] The "lone gunman" theory.
- Tony Soprano: You know how close he and Angelo were in the can. He flipped the fuck out!
- John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni: When he whacked Joey Peeps, what flipped him out that time?
- Tony Soprano: Whaddaya, whaddaya want, John? What do you want me to say?
- John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni: I want your cousin on a FUCKING SPIT!
- Valentina La Paz: [In the hospital room, after Tony just told her he's going back to live at home with Carmela] I'll kill myself!
- Tony Soprano: [his phone rings] I gotta take this.
- Tony Soprano: [Meeting privately] There he is. The King of New York!
- Tony Soprano: Congratulations.
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: Thanks Tony.
- Tony Soprano: You deserve it.
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: This is the last time we'll meet like this; It's undignified.
- Tony Soprano: Ok.
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: So, what's the word on your cousin?
- Tony Soprano: I think I know where he's holed up.
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: And?
- Tony Soprano: I know this has to be done, but I'm asking you now as a friend, let me handle this myself.
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: I can't do that.
- Tony Soprano: You can whatever the fuck you want; you're the fuckin' boss.
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: I chose not to then.
- Tony Soprano: I want your promise that it'll be quick.
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: I'm not going to lie to you. I don't have to. Phil's going to do it. And he'll do it his way.
- Tony Soprano: This is me now, come on.
- Johnny 'Sack' Sacramoni: Anything else?
- Tony Soprano: No.
- Tony Soprano: You know what? I'll give you "undignified." Go fuck yourself, you, Phil, and whoever. He's my fuckin' cousin.
- Tony Soprano: Look, Tony's in hiding, John.
- John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni: You either deliver that prick to my door, or I will rain a shitstorm down on you and your family like you have NEVER fucking seen.
- [pause]
- John 'Johnny Sack' Sacrimoni: We're done here.
- [referring to Adrianna's health]
- Tony Soprano: Are you still feeling sick, Hon?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Please! They've gotta replace her colon with a semi-colon.
- Tony Soprano: You alright?
- Christopher Moltisanti: [while watching the movie Three Amigos!] Some funny shit.
- Tony Soprano: The fuck is wrong is with you?
- Christopher Moltisanti: I snorted a little H, I know but I can't stand the pain. I loved her.
- Tony Soprano: [Punches him then kicks him when his lying on the ground and shouting] You think you're alone in this?
- Adriana La Cerva: [Over the phone] Hello?
- Tony Soprano: Yeah, it's me. Look everything's ok. Jesus I don't even know how to say this. It's Christopher, he tried to commit suicide.
- Adriana La Cerva: Oh my God, is he alright?
- Tony Soprano: His fine. He was up by Ramapo, apparently took some pills and this trooper found him in a bathroom of this diner and brought him to the hospital. His mom's on her way up there now. Did he say anything to you? Did he "appear" suicidal?
- Adriana La Cerva: No.
- Tony Soprano: Are you sure? Because his mom said he's very upset over something.
- Adriana La Cerva: [Remains silent]
- Tony Soprano: Anyway, I'm on my way up there now and I'm going to send Sil by to pick you up then ok?
- Adriana La Cerva: Jesus Christ.
- Tony Soprano: You know he's been drinking so he's probably fighting that heroin urge again, anyway Sil's on his way.
- Adriana La Cerva: Ok.
- Christopher Moltisanti: [Talking privately, referring to their cousin Tony B] What's up? You hear from Tony?
- Tony Soprano: I just talked to Kelvin, Calvin, whatever the fuck his name is. That redneck from North Carolina. He got a call from the Bureau of Alcohol and Tobacco. Some fuckin' bodegas in Newark been selling cigarettes without the tax stamps on them.
- Christopher Moltisanti: Stupid spics, they were suppose to stamp it themselves.
- Tony Soprano: The Feds are all over it. I don't have enough on my fuckin' mind?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Any idea on how you're going to handle it?
- Tony Soprano: Handle what?
- Christopher Moltisanti: Our cousin. You know Phil and John?
- Tony Soprano: I don't know. I got to think about it. From now on Paulie supervises the entire cigarette run. You split everything down the middle with him.
- Christopher Moltisanti: What?
- Tony Soprano: You fuckin' heard me.
- Christopher Moltisanti: I got a fuckin' wedding to pay for.
- Tony Soprano: [Sarcastically] Well, if I were you I'd cut out the open bar.
- Silvio Dante: Don't me wrong, I always liked your cousin: whacking Philly's brother was a major pook in the ass
- Tony Soprano: you know my cousin almost cried when I put him in charge of the casino? All I did for that blue eyed prick... he completely fucks me over! I gotta get down on my knees to Johnny Sack
- Tony Soprano: [to Christopher when he enters the room] where the fuck you been? Your late
- Christopher Moltisanti: [jokingly] The highway was jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive
- Tony Soprano: Oh, you're gonna get fuckin cute now?
- Christopher Moltisanti: anything on Tony B?
- Silvio Dante: Nah, his still on a milk carton
- Christopher Moltisanti: [when Andriana enters the room] there she is, my smelly valentine
- Adriana La Cerva: Christopher, that's not funny
- Tony Soprano: [to Christopher when Adriana serves him alcohol] the fuck you doing?
- Christopher Moltisanti: I can handle a cocktail once in a while, right?
- Adriana La Cerva: [to Tony and Sil] you guys ok, need anything else?
- Tony Soprano: You still feeling sick, Hun?
- Christopher Moltisanti: [jokingly] Please, they've gotta replace her colon with a semi-colon
- Silvio Dante: [to Adriana] Maybe you should be a vegan?
- Adriana La Cerva: Doctor says I gotta relax
- Christopher Moltisanti: From what? She's got the world at her feet: she walks around like impending doom
- Tony Soprano: [to Sil and Christopher] Come on, we gotta go
- Tony Soprano: You know I had a dream that I moved back in here
- Tony Soprano: [when she doesn't respond, referring to his infidelities] just for the record, I realize what I did was wrong, my..."activities", while I lived here
- Carmela Soprano: knowing you were wrong isn't the half of it
- Tony Soprano: [amused] oh, really, what's the other half?
- Carmela Soprano: well, supposed something did happen, theoretically where we did get back together, any marriage needs fidelity
- Tony Soprano: like Popeye says "I am what I am"
- Carmela Soprano: well, I didn't marry a cartoon character
- Tony Soprano: well, it wouldn't be a cartoon: you had your own indiscretions yourself. That thing with Furio?
- Carmela Soprano: [adamantly] I did not sleep with him
- Tony Soprano: I'm just saying we're all human, that's all
- Carmela Soprano: you know the truth is, I got myself where I am but your open indiscretions, your total disregard...
- Tony Soprano: [interrupts her] your right, it was horrible
- Carmela Soprano: [referring to when Tony's former mistress Irina called Carmela to tell her Tony also also slept with her cousin Svetlana] I have a knot in my stomach every time the phone rings
- Tony Soprano: like you were saying "theoretically" if we do reconcile, that "stuff" will never happen again
- Tony Soprano: So, the other day, what you said, I processed it. You know, your feelings, it really hit home with me finally
- Carmela Soprano: You know with you out of the house, I had a chance to do a lot of thinking. I mean, it's partly my fault, but I need something else in my life. With Meadow getting engaged, AJ...
- Tony Soprano: You want another kid?
- Carmela Soprano: No, turns out there is a lot for sale on Crestview: a little over an acre, I was thinking I could build a spec house and take my dad in as a partner. I mean my allowance is what it is but...
- Tony Soprano: How much is the lot?
- Carmela Soprano: Six hundred thousand. Anyway, he would oversee the construction
- Tony Soprano: Well, I'll call Ginsberg and have him free up a down payment
- Carmela Soprano: And then?
- Tony Soprano: I'll move back in
- Carmela Soprano: Supposing that happened, what about the other issues that were on the table?
- Tony Soprano: [referring to his infidelity] I swear to you on our children that my midlife crisis problems will no longer intrude on you anymore
- Tony Soprano: [while picking her up from the hospital] so, you all set?
- Valentina La Paz: don't look at me
- Tony Soprano: well, you look good and your gonna look good with the short hair like... what's her name? That actress?
- Valentina La Paz: [ignoring his comments] just take me home
- Tony Soprano: [before pointing to his watch] I can drop you off but I really can't stay
- Valentina La Paz: why not?
- Tony Soprano: [after sitting down] alright, look off, as far as the medical bills and the prescriptions, that's covered
- Valentina La Paz: [realizing his breaking up with her] you motherfucker
- Tony Soprano: hey, take it easy
- Valentina La Paz: [referring to while she's recovering from her wounds] "this" is how you leave me, when I almost burned to death cooking you a fuckin snack?
- Tony Soprano: you could've just as easily making yourself something to eat
- Valentina La Paz: am I that fuckin horrible?
- Tony Soprano: no, you're not horrible at all. I'm going back to my wife
- Valentina La Paz: you selfish fuck! I hate you
- Tony Soprano: look, there's no future with us. I told you right from the get-go, that's why I didn't want you "hitching" your "wagon" to my life
- Tony Soprano: [seeing her become emotional] you'll heal up: you'll meet somebody else
- Valentina La Paz: fuck you!
- Tony Soprano: [when his cell phone rings] I didn't come here to fight, I came here to pick you up and end this like a gentlemen
- Valentina La Paz: [points at him] I'm gonna fuckin kill myself
- Tony Soprano: [ignores her, referring to the phone call] I gotta take this
- Jimmy Petrille: [over the phone, referring to the feud between Johnny Sack and Little Carmine which Johnny Sack won] the "tennis match" with those guys: my guy won
- Tony Soprano: oh, yeah?
- Jimmy Petrille: [referring to Little Carmine] the other one, the son, he "dropped out"
- Tony Soprano: what, he got hurt?
- Jimmy Petrille: nothing like that, it's settled, that's all
- Tony Soprano: [before hanging up the phone] alright
- Tony Blundetto: [over the phone, referring to Phil killing his friend] it's me, you awake? Look, I know your mad, ok? I'm sorry, when I heard about Angelo...
- Tony Soprano: [interrupts, angrily] don't fuckin say it: not on the fuckin phone
- Tony Blundetto: I know, I won't. What should I do?
- Tony Soprano: [implying to him it's not safe for him to return] I'll tell you what not to do: that's come back around here
- Tony Blundetto: I know but my kids, my boys
- Tony Soprano: don't worry about that, I'll look after them
- Tony Blundetto: yeah, well, that's why I'm calling
- Tony Soprano: [irritated, sarcastically] sure, why not? Anything else I can do for you?
- Tony Blundetto: I don't know what to say cous, I'm leaving you with a real pile of shit in your lap
- Tony Blundetto: [when Tony doesn't respond] hello?
- Tony Soprano: [referring to him incarcerated for hijacking] the night you "went away", seventeen years and all. I told you I got jumped by a couple of "shines", that's why I didn't show: it was all bullshit. I got in a fight with my mother and I passed out
- Tony Blundetto: [confused] what'd you mean?
- Tony Soprano: [referring to the fight with his mother that caused a panic attack and lost consciousness afterwards] I don't know. I went down like a house of cards and I cracked my fuckin skull open
- Tony Blundetto: [confused] why are you telling me all this?
- Tony Soprano: because I felt guilty all those years like it was my fault you "went away". Anyway, now we're even
- Tony Blundetto: so, the casino, all that shit you did for me was because of that?
- Tony Soprano: [ignores his question] you just take care of yourself, alright?
- Tony Blundetto: [before hanging up] you too