James Gandolfini: Tony Soprano

Nobody Knows Anything

Tony Soprano

Meadow Soprano: This country's light-years behind the rest of the world. Most civilized countries have legalized prostitution.
Tony Soprano: Don't you got somewhere to be?
Meadow Soprano: I mean, it's a joke. Look what they're putting the President through.
Carmela Soprano: He deserved what he got.
Anthony 'A.J.' Soprano, Jr.: He got Monica Lewinsky and the broad with the long nose.
Meadow Soprano: I just don't think sex should be a punishable offense.
Tony Soprano: You know honey, that's where I agree with you. I don't think sex should be a punishable offense either. But I do think talking about sex at the breakfast table is a punishable offense. So no more sex talk, OK?
Meadow Soprano: It's the 90s. Parents are supposed to discuss sex with their children.
Tony Soprano: Yeah, but that's where you're wrong. You see out there it's the 1990s but in this house it's 1954.
[points to the window]
Tony Soprano: 1990s.
[points to the floor]
Tony Soprano: 1954. So now and forever, I don't want to hear any more sex talk, OK?

Tony Soprano: So your father tells me you're takin' up astronomy in college.
Kevin Bompensiero: No, business.
Tony Soprano: Well, how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?
Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero: [laughs] Madon'. Don't make me laugh. Kills my back.
Tony Soprano: He's a good lookin' kid. Sure he's yours?

Silvio Dante: Look, T, if my vote counts for anything, I cannot believe that Pussy would fear the can enough to hurt his friends.
Tony Soprano: That's what they said about Gravano.

Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [referring to Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero] There isn't even anything wrong with his back
Tony Soprano: What'd you mean?
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Remember that guy hit me in the head with that pool cue and I fucked my neck up?
Tony Soprano: Yeah, down at the shore
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Right, I went to this doctor, this guy works on the Jets frontline when they get hurt. "He's like the fuckin "Jonas Salk" of backs. Anyway, I sent Pussy to this doctor, the guy gives him the "works", MRI's, CAT scans, dog scans, you name it and he says not a fuckin thing wrong with his back
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [when Tony doesn't respond] Then again, he says "When it comes to backs, nobody knows anything really".

Tony Soprano: you know, I was on a good run then boom! I don't know it's like I'm walking down the street and I'm looking up because I feel like a safe is going to land on my head
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: A feeling of a pending doom?
Tony Soprano: Let me ask you a question: this "mental stuff" could cause physical problems right?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Are you having any physical problems?
Tony Soprano: No I'm fine but I got a "friend", a dear dear "friend" and I'm concerned about him
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What's wrong with him?
Tony Soprano: It's his back, see his complaining about his back but I think the doctor thinks it's all in his head
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It's very possible
Tony Soprano: What'd you think?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I think we should just keep this about you
Tony Soprano: This is about me
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Every time I offer my opinion on any of your friends it seems to interfere with our therapy and you start cursing and screaming
Tony Soprano: What kind of mental stuff would cause a back ache?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: For "conversation" sake?
Tony Soprano: Absolutely
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: For some people the pain is caused by more responsibility than they can handle
Tony Soprano: [Nods] that makes sense, his got a lot of bills, a lot of problems with his kid's "school fund"
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Secrets
Tony Soprano: What'd you mean?
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Psychologically a secret is a heavy load, it leads to feelings of guilt which further burdens the mind