Mr. Lawrence: Announcer • Fish #4 • Fish #5
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy III/Squirrel Jokes
SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Lawrence credited as playing...
Announcer • Fish #4 • Fish #5
- Fish Patron 1: [the audience is not liking SpongeBob's jokes so far] Oh, brother, THIS GUY STINKS!
- Fish Patron 2: Hey! Hey, funny guy! I've got a joke for you! What smells really rotten and puts people to sleep?
- SpongeBob: Um, noxious gas?
- Fish Patron 2: No! Your ACT!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Did you ever noticed how... uh...
- [He sees a fork on a nearby table]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: ... forks...?
- Fish Patron 1: [seriously?] Forks? Come one! BOO!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, hi. Hehe. Uh... did you ever hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt?
- [beat]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Now, he's a bronze fish!
- [Rimshot is heard]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [silence]
- Fish Patron 2: What?
- Fish Patron 1: What did he say?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I guess you heard that one.
- Sandy Cheeks: I haven't heard it! Good one, SpongeBob!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [the crowd boos, even Patrick]
- [SpongeBob sees Sandy's buck teeth]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Did you ever noticed... how big squirrels' teeth are?
- Fish Patron 1: [the crowd starts to laugh] That's true.
- Sandy Cheeks: Huh?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I mean, hey, you could land a plane on those things.
- [the crowd laughs]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: And what's up with that squirrel fur? I guess fleas need a home, too!
- [the crowd laughs harder]
- Patrick: Hahahaha! Squirrel fur!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: And they smell! Uh, but hey, you'd stink, too if you spent three months covered in dirt.
- [the audience is keeps laughing, but Sandy is uncomfortable, smiling awkwardly]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [SpongeBob laughs] Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb?
- Fish Patron 1: [from back] WHY?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Because... they are so darn stupid!
- [the crowd laughs even harder]
- Patrick: Dahahahaha! Oh, that's a good one, eh, Sandy?
- Sandy Cheeks: [chuckling awkwardly, she's uncomfortable] Uh, he... uh, yeah.
- [the crowd cheers loudly and SpongeBob goes backstage]