Bill Fagerbakke: Patrick Star • Clerk

Chocolate with Nuts/Mermaidman and Barnacleboy V

Patrick Star • Clerk

SpongeBob SquarePants: We're not doing so well Patrick. We need a better approach; a new tactic.
Patrick: I know, let's get naked.
SpongeBob SquarePants: No, let's save that for when we're selling real estate.

SpongeBob SquarePants: [SpongeBob and Patrick are selling chocolate] Remember, Patrick. Flatter the customer. Make him feel good.
[knocks on door]
Customer: Hello?
Patrick: I love you.

Mermaid Man: You fiends can't win. You're out-numbered.
Barnacle Boy: You senile bag of fish paste. There are three of us and only one of you.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Make that two.
ManRay: The Quickster.
Squidward: three.
Barnacle Boy: Captain Magma.
Patrick: Four.
The Dirty Bubble: The Elastic Waistband.
Sandy: Five.
Barnacle Boy: M-M-M-Miss Appear.
Mermaid Man: And me makes 10. I think.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Remember, Patrick, focus.
[knocks]
Customer: Yes?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Good afternoon, sir, we're selling chocolate bars.
Customer: [Patrick's eyes zoom in and out on the customer] Why is Chubby here staring at me?
Patrick: Focusing.
Customer: Back up, Jack!
[slams the door on Patrick's eyes]
Patrick: Oof!
[moves his eyes around]
Patrick: Nice place you got in here.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Quick, Patrick, without thinking: if you could have anything right now, what would it be?
Patrick: Um... more time for thinking.

SpongeBob SquarePants: [Looking through the magazine Fancy Living Digest with Patrick] Look at all these glossy pictures of a higher standard of living!
[pointing at a picture]
SpongeBob SquarePants: This guy's so rich he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool!
Patrick: [Pointing at a picture of a rich guy surrounded by bags of money] This guy's got shoes!

Mermaid Man: So, who wants to save the world?
SpongeBob: I do!
Patrick: I do!
Sandy Cheeks: I do!
Squidward: I don't.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes you do, no world means no money! So go save the world, or you're fired!
[Squidward crosses his arms and grumbles in protest]

SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick: [SpongeBob and Patrick sell their chocolate bars by lying about what their products do]
SpongeBob SquarePants: It'll make your hair grow.
Bald Fish: Great! My wife's trying to grow a beard.
SpongeBob SquarePants: It'll make you sound smart.
Hick Fish: I'll take twenty!
Patrick: It'll keep your face from getting any uglier.
Starfish: Just in time!
SpongeBob SquarePants: They'll make you fly.
Patrick: You'll fall in love.
SpongeBob SquarePants: They'll bring world peace.
Patrick: You'll walk through walls!
SpongeBob SquarePants: You'll rule the world!

SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick: [SpongeBob and Patrick are wearing bandages, braces, and using crutches. They ring the doorbell and giggle under their breaths]
Patrick: He-hee! This'll be our best lie yet.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah! This guy will feel so sorry for us, he'll have to buy ALL of our chocolate bars.
Injured Fish: [answers the door and peeks through the crack of the door] What can I do for you, boys?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hello, sir. Would you like to buy a chocolate bar? We need an operation.
Injured Fish: Really? Small world.
[the man reveals himself to be in a full body cast, with IV tubes attached to him]
Injured Fish: What's the matter with YOU, boys?
SpongeBob SquarePants: [bewildered] Um... we've got some head trauma and internal bleeding.