By Any Other Name

"We do not colonize. We Conquer! We Rule!" Guess we know where these Kelvans stand, don't we? Or, perhaps not. For, they have taken human form. Actual Kelvans are 'immense beings' with a hundred tentacles. Such beings would have problems with a turbolift (and sixties FX would have problems depicting them). So, hearkening back to the aliens of "Catspaw" and "Return to Tomorrow," these Kelvans have set themselves up for major seduction trouble by assuming our treacherous human form. And, strictly speaking, they're not invaders, merely an expedition force on its way back to the Andromeda Galaxy, where radiation levels will make life impossible there in about 10,000 years. Once back home, they'll tell the rest of the Kelvans to go ahead and proceed to our Milky Way galaxy and then conquer the hell out of it. But, the Federation would have no immediate worries; the invasion force probably won't arrive for at least 600 years (the round trip). If they ever create a Trek show set in the 29th century (or even the 26th), there's at least one story arc ready to be used.

So, I'm not sure why Kirk and his officers were so worked up. Of course, their personal situation was a bit grim: the prospect of being stuck on the Enterprise for the rest of their lives as it hurtles towards Andromeda is kind of a downer. Though there are only half-a-dozen of these Kelvans, they easily take over the ship with their paralysis field weapons. They also modify the ship's engines. We're back at the galactic barrier first seen in the 2nd pilot episode, "Where No Man Has Gone Before" - and through it. Then most the crew are turned into small weightless tetrahedron-like blocks. When I first saw this as a kid, a genuine chill ran thru me when one these blocks was crushed to dust, thereby killing a crew member in a rather horrifying manner. This was super-science employed as a war tactic, as an instrument of terror. This was alien invasion thrills and chills, no doubt, and these Kelvans seemed a step up from the usual baddies encountered on the original show (Klingons, Romulans, etc).

But then, as was customary with many episodes after the first season, a grim tone changes to a playful one in the 2nd half of the episode. Then we get games of seduction and inebriation, of Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Scotty using their wits rather than their brawn, though in a manner befitting a Marx Brothers comedy instead of a sf adventure. It's still entertaining, sure, but I would have preferred some payback for that first half of terror, and the episode is rather uneven as a result of the precious ploys. The sugary ending is so cloying, so convenient, I usually need a shot of Scotch to get rid of the taste. On the plus side, Kelinda (Bouchet) is probably the sexiest alien we see on the original show and Kirk's super-stud status was assured with this episode. Scotty has the best scenes - it's green, indeed - and rumors of his alcoholism might have started here. And those images of the Enterprise zooming towards another galaxy stay in the mind for awhile. This imagery was repeated in the 3rd season's "Day of the Dove."

Enterprise is taken over by the Kelvans, who are scouting planets to conquer before returning home to the Andromeda galaxy.

This is an enjoyable episode with decent concept and some good character moments.

The plot involves a fairly straightforward problem of baddies taking over Enterprise for the crew to resolve. In true Star Trek manner it is done in a mostly non-violent way that is quite fun to watch unfold. The theme about humanity and how it's weaknesses are used against the Kelvans is a good one.

There is a quite ominous tone to the initial set up of the situation with the Kelvans seemingly almost impossible antagonists to overcome, but the writers cleverly put their human form to good use. A little too much in some ways, as they do not seem to just have human emotions, but also develop human stupidity.

It is in this stupidity and in the rather silly scenes during the final act that the episode loses any suspense it had developed. However, for me there is still plenty left to enjoy from a humorous perspective. Scotty's drinking contest, Kirk's seduction of Kelinda, Rojan's jealousy, and Spock stirring the pot all provides great entertainment.

Visually it's good, with nice set design, costuming, props, and well worked physical confrontations.

All performances are solid, with William Shatner, James Doohan and Warren Stevens standing out. I'm not sure what Barbara Bouchet aiming for with her performance but if it was deliberate awkwardness of a character unfamiliar with human emotion she pulled it off well.

...the harder they fall. Those Kelvans were, at bottom, a bunch of greedy grabalots, and it didn't take long for Kirk and Co. to catch on. And believe me, they had lots of fun doing something about it. When they realized that Rojan and company, having taken human form, were starting to experience human reactions---human emotions---they made the most of the opportunity. I got a huge kick out of Bones pumping one of the invaders full of formic acid, which would make anyone climb the walls---Scotty drinking another one of them under the table and then passing out himself (although in a good cause)---Spock, although unsuccessful with the mind-meld, nevertheless getting a good idea of what Kelinda really looked like---and most of all, Captain Kirk's "apology" which spread like wildfire and thoroughly discombooberated the Kelvans who now realized they were stuck with their human forms and could never return to Andromeda. This was a good seriocomic story; I enjoyed it.

"By Any Other Name" (Feb. 23, 1968) Old TV Guide synopsis: 'Kirk tries to outwit colonizers from Andromeda who assume human form to seize the Enterprise.' Jerome Bixby's second episode presents Kelvan invaders intent on conquest rather than diplomacy, the Enterprise forced to transport the last survivors to a new home on a journey that will last 300 years. With over 400 crew members completely immobilized, Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Scotty take it upon themselves to force the inexperienced Kelvans to fall victim to their all too human emotions. While Kirk inflames jealousy in Rojan (Warren Stevens) by romancing the beautiful Kelinda (Barbara Bouchet), Scotty whets the palate of Tomar (Robert Fortier) with a plethora of intoxicating beverages. A storyline including the brutal death of a pretty female yeoman (Julie Cobb) finishes in such broadly comical fashion that it can't help but come off a bit jarring, but still a worthy addition to the series. Warren Stevens had just costarred opposite Michael Rennie in "Cyborg 2087," while Barbara Bouchet would soon relocate to Italy for yet greater cult stardom alongside other sex symbols like Edwige Fenech, Femi Benussi, and Erika Blanc.

When Enterprise's crew goes down in unknown planet for survey, they are captured by an alien humanized form self-called Kelvans a sort of superior race who has beam paralyzing device that precludes all human efforts against them under Kirk commands, even our Vulkan wasn't match for such master race, all attempts were doomed to failure.

The small group of Kelvans under the leadership of the cold Rojan (Warren Stevens) has a gorgeous female Kalinda is an old acquaint of us the Czech Barbara Bouchet, what a woman, well upon a wise well-crafted screenplay the Earthlings seem struck a dead end, the Kelvans demands the Enterprise backing to faraway Andromeda galaxy where the early Kelvans coming in the past, then the downed Kirk offers to the Kelvans take the confederation board the issue in hope for fair agreement, promptly refused by commander Rojan, no deal at sight.

The final part what was meant to be a promising episode fell in the puerile exit to fix the hard matter of subjugation of the entire Enterprise's crew into a ludicrous turnaround over the mind supremacy of the Kelvans that drops in vexatious way, anyhow the episode was enlightened by eye-candy Bouchet!!

Thanks for reading.

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First watch: 2022 / Source: DVD / How many: 1 / Rating: 7.5.