Wil Wheaton credited as playing...
Wesley Crusher
- Capt. Picard: You will now return control of this vessel to the bridge where it belongs, at once.
- Wesley Crusher: I'm sorry, sir. Why don't you just tell me what you want done and I'll do it.
- Capt. Picard: Because ship captains control their own vessels, young man!
- Wesley Crusher: But, sir, you don't do it yourself. You give the orders, but somebody else does it. What's wrong with giving me the orders to do it?
- Lieutenant Worf: Captain, getting unusual readings now from the dwarf star.
- Capt. Picard: Stand by on that for a moment.
- Capt. Picard: Wes, are you aware that you are behaving strangely? That a kind of... infection was brought over from the Tsiolkovsky which acts like intoxication?
- Wesley Crusher: Are you saying that's why I feel so hot and so strange?
- Capt. Picard: That's... that's a very adult bit of reasoning, Wesley.
- Wesley Crusher: So you mean I'm drunk! I feel strange but also good.
- Capt. Picard: Because... because you have lost the capacity for self-judgment. Now, alcohol does this, Wesley, but the contaminant we brought back from the Tsiolkovsky does it even more so.
- Wesley Crusher: What would you do if you got your ship back?
- Capt. Picard: Oh... it's very important I do, Wesley. Because I must immediately lock a tractor beam onto the Tsiolkovsky and tow it out of...
- Wesley Crusher: Tractor beams are my specialty, skipper! I'll contact you when that's done. Wesley out.
- [he ends the transmission]
- Capt. Picard: Captain's log, stardate 41209.3. The strange contaminant that led to the deaths of the Tsiolkovsky crew is now aboard the Enterprise, and our engineering section has been commandeered by young Wesley Crusher.
- Wesley Crusher: And henceforth, a dessert course shall precede and follow every meal, including breakfast.
- Capt. Picard: [voice, over intercom] Attention all decks, all divisions. Effective immediately, I have handed over control of this vessel to Acting Captain Wesley Crusher.
- Capt. Picard: [incensed] "Acting Captain"?
- Wesley Crusher: [over intercom] Thank you, Captain Picard, thank you. And with that order dawns a brave new day for the Enterprise.
- Doctor Beverly Crusher: There's something happening on this ship. Just to be safe, I'd like you to stay in our quarters until it's solved.
- Wesley Crusher: Sure, Mom, sure. Your wish is my command.
- Doctor Beverly Crusher: Now, Wes.
- Wesley Crusher: Okay, but you could be stunting my emotional growth. You realize that?
- Sarah MacDougal: I can't help you, Bridge. Someone here has yanked out all the control chips.
- Wesley Crusher: It was an adult who did it!