Robert Duncan McNeill credited as playing...
Lt. Tom Paris
- [last lines]
- Tom Paris: If you'll excuse me, I have to go check on Harry; I hear he's having a nervous breakdown. It's a long story.
- The Doctor: Not so fast, Mr. Paris. You are going to help me sterilize every square millimeter of this sickbay. No doubt you've left your oily residue on every hypospray, your sloughed secretions on every console! Just kidding. In fact, I've had a change of heart about my fastidiousness. A little clutter never hurt anyone. Sick Bay should have a more organic touch, don't you think? To help our patients feel... more at home?
- Tom Paris: [to Torres] What's gotten into him?
- B'Elanna Torres: It's a long story.
- [Paris and Kim are telling an anecdote to everybody's but Tuvok's amusement]
- Tom Paris: ...So, we rigged the security console so that every time Tuvok accessed the internal sensors, it would play a little message:
- Harry Kim: "Live long and prosper!"
- Tom Paris: No matter what button he pushed: "Live long and prosper."
- Harry Kim: Naturally, no one was available to fix the malfunction...
- Tom Paris: ...so Tuvok had to stretch his Vulcan patience to the limit for the rest of the day.
- Harry Kim: I swear, I could hear him grinding his teeth from across the bridge.
- Tom Paris: And just when he thought it was over, when he went back to his quarters and ordered a cup of Vulcan tea, the replicator says:
- Harry Kim: "Live long and prosper!"
- Seven of Nine: I've been damaged.
- Harry Kim: Ooh. That looks pretty bad. You better get to Sick Bay.
- Seven of Nine: As a drone, I would have regenerated within seconds. I've become weak.
- Harry Kim: No more than the rest of us. You'll be fine. C'mon, I'll walk you there.
- Tom Paris: [in Sick Bay] 'Nother half a millimeter and you would have severed the carpal nerve. Might have had to operate. You are a mere mortal now. As your family doctor, I'd suggest you be more careful. There. Good as new.
- Harry Kim: I'll see you back in the cargo bay.
- Harry Kim: [after Seven of Nine leaves] What kind of bedside manner was that?
- Tom Paris: What are you talking about?
- Harry Kim: Can't you see she's feeling vulnerable, and here you are going on about severed nerves and major surgery?
- Tom Paris: Would you take it easy? I was just trying to lighten the mood. She wasn't upset by it.
- Harry Kim: Yes, she was! I could see it on her face!
- Tom Paris: You seem a little protective. This morning you were dreading being in the same room with her.
- Harry Kim: Well, I've... gotten to know her a little better. I don't think most people realize she's not just some Borg automaton. She's actually very... complex.
- Tom Paris: Oh, really?
- Harry Kim: Yes, she is. She's even got a sense of humor. It's offbeat, a bit subtle, maybe - and she's incredibly intelligent.
- Tom Paris: Well, she ought to be. She assimilated enough people.
- Harry Kim: See? See what I mean? It's Borg this, Borg that. You can't resist making a joke. There's a woman in there, if you'd take the time to look.
- Tom Paris: Harry, you've got a crush on her, don't you?
- Harry Kim: What? No. Not at all. Maybe just a little.
- Tom Paris: I've seen this look in your eyes right before you fall head over heels. You always go for the tough ones. What was it last time, a hologram? I don't know much about Borg women, but my advice to you is: Don't.
- Harry Kim: Just trying to make her feel like part of the team.
- Tom Paris: "Part of the team?" You sound like Chakotay. Look, she's beautiful and she's smart - and I'm sure she's a wonderful... conversationalist - but a month ago she was Borg. You don't really know who she is. It's great that you're trying to make her feel comfortable. Just be careful.
- Harry Kim: Thanks for the advice.
- Tom Paris: [after Harry leaves] I just hope you take it.
- The Doctor: The Captain has authorized me to recruit someone with advanced medical training to help out in Sick Bay. Unfortunately, the most qualified crew member is you.
- Tom Paris: You want ME to be the new nurse?
- The Doctor: If that's the title you prefer. It will only be temporary, three duty shifts a week. Report to Sick Bay at 0600 hours. Bring a tricorder and a smile.