Robert Picardo credited as playing...
The Doctor
- Neelix: [as Tomin lies in sick bay] I thought synthehol wasn't supposed to have this effect on people.
- The Doctor: Most people. The enzyymes that break down synthehol aren't present in his bloodstream.
- Neelix: Can you counteract the effects?
- The Doctor: I can synthesize the enzymes, but that'll take days.
- Neelix: Days? The Captain will be back in the morning.
- Lt. Tom Paris: Maybe he needs a cold shower.
- Neelix: If his superiors find him like this, he'll be banished from the colony, and our trade agreement will go right out the airlock!
- Tomin: Oh, Seven of mine...
- Seven of Nine: It may be possible to encode some of my nanoprobes to assimilate the synthehol molecules.
- Tomin: Assimilate me!
- The Doctor: [Another of the Doctor's dating lessons, said to a preoccupied Seven] The key to finding a compatible partner is learning how to share your interests and goals. We'll start with hobbies.
- [speaking as if a potential suitor]
- The Doctor: What do you do with your spare time?
- Seven of Nine: Regenerate.
- The Doctor: Uh-huh. Tell me about you tastes, your likes and dislikes.
- Seven of Nine: I dislike irrelevant conversations.
- The Doctor: Okaaay, which brings us to 'goals'. What do you want out of life?
- Seven of Nine: Perfection.
- [Seven offers to get Paris and/or the Doctor a drink]
- The Doctor: You know I don't drink. I don't have the stomach for it.
- The Doctor: I heard about the mess hall incident.
- Seven of Nine: This crew can be very efficient at disseminating information, when they choose to be.
- The Doctor: They say gossip travels faster than warp speed.
- [the Doctor's showing Seven a slide presentation about mating]
- The Doctor: Here we see how 'fortess ovum' is besieged by countless little warriors...
- Seven of Nine: Doctor, I am familiar with the physiological processes of sexuality.
- The Doctor: Perhaps you should consider... expanding your research to the realm of dating.
- Seven of Nine: Dating? You mean procreation?
- The Doctor: One step at a time. Dating is a human ritual, wherein two people share a social activity, get to know each other. In time, it can lead to a romantic involvement, and eventually, if all goes well, even marriage.
- Seven of Nine: One step at a time.
- [the Doctor has taken Seven out to Ambassador Tomin's reception]
- Tom Paris: Impressive. You're actually taught her to be polite, but don't think you've won our bet. She was supposed to bring a REAL date.
- The Doctor: Photons and force fields, flesh and blood - why quibble over details?
- Tomin: [shouting across the mess hall] Ensign Paris, tell us another one of those hologram jokes!
- The Doctor: You've been stealing my material?
- Tom Paris: That guy's so lubricated, he'll laugh at anything.
- The Doctor: Are you implying that Seven couldn't get a date?
- Tom Paris: What, are you kidding? Half the men on this ship would jump at the chance; but, getting a date is one thing. Keeping it from turning into a disaster is another.
- [the Doctor begins his lesson plan]
- The Doctor: I've prepared an introduction. I call it "Love Amid the Stars."
- The Doctor: [early in his "Love Amid the Stars" presentation] Of course, the species you're most likely to interact with is human, so without further ado - Lesson 1: First Contact.
- The Doctor: The courtship of some species remain shrouded in mystery. For example, Species 8472 appears to have as many as five sexes. Bystanders better keep their distance.