Richard Dean Anderson credited as playing...
Colonel Jack O'Neill
- Teal'c: I know of no Goa'uld capable of showing the necessary compassion or benevolence that I've read of in your bible.
- Jack O'Neill: You read the bible Teal'c?
- Teal'c: It is a significant part of your western culture. Have you not read the bible O'Neill?
- Jack O'Neill: Oh yeah, yeah... not all of it. Actually I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends.
- Jack O'Neill: Carter, if I ever get the urge to help anybody again, feel free to give me a swift kick.
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: It was a procedure often done in the Middle Ages. They... well, they-they'd drill a hole in the person's head. By drilling a hole the evil spirits are released, thus saving the person from eternal damnation.
- Jack O'Neill: Thus *saving* the person?
- Dr. Daniel Jackson: Well, they didn't call them the Dark Ages because it was dark.
- Jack O'Neill: So... . how long are you gonna keep this up? The demon bit, don't get me wrong, looks like a great gig, you got the Padre in your back pocket, the hours are good, probably get all the chicks, huh?
- Simon: I am sorry Mary.
- Jack O'Neill: Don't apologize to her, help her.
- Simon: The Canon has spoken.
- Jack O'Neill: What are you, the village idiot?
- Jack O'Neill: SPOILER:
- [frightened villagers run away after Teal'c, whose body they were preparing for burial, sits up]
- Jack O'Neill: You'd think they never saw a guy rise from the dead.