Dylan Sprouse credited as playing...
Zack Martin
- Esteban: We're going to call the spirit.
- [lights the candle, but it lights itself]
- Esteban: Apparently, the spirit's calling us. Now everybody, join hands.
- [all except Esteban hold their own hands]
- Esteban: I meant with each other. Be very calm, but relaxed.
- [all exhale]
- Esteban: Ghostie, if I may call you that, speak to us.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: You are...
- Esteban: Maddie's channeling the spirit.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: dooopes!
- [chuckles]
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Hahaha! You guys are so gullible! I can't believe you fell for that.
- Esteban: This beliver should be punished.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: [saying sarcastically] Oooo, I'm so scared!
- [table shakes and Maddie whimpers]
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: I'm so scared!
- Cody Martin: [table rises] Either the table's getting higher, or the floor's getting lower.
- Esteban: [hums La Cucaracha] Hmmmm, hmmmmmmm, hmmm, hmmmmm.
- London Tipton: What are you doing?
- Esteban: The spirit has me on hold.
- [suddenly gets "posessed"]
- Esteban: Heeeehuuuuuuhhh!
- [makes a scary face and turns to London and Cody and talks in s girlish voice]
- Esteban: She's here!
- [inrehular voice]
- Esteban: Oh, hola ghostie!
- [gets "reposessed"]
- Esteban: Heeeehuuuuuuhhh!
- [makes another face and turns to Maddie and Zack]
- Esteban: [in the voice of Irene] Who dares to call me in the afterlife?
- Cody Martin: [to Zack] It's for you.
- Zack Martin: Are you the ghost of Irene?
- Esteban: [in Irene's voice] Yeeess, my husband left me, so I'm angry. Now, my spirit is doomed to languish for all eternity!
- London Tipton: Does somebody smell...
- [sniffs]
- London Tipton: pizza?
- Esteban: [in Irene's voice] Arrrhhhh, don't ever say that word!
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: I love pizza. What are you gonna do about it?
- [Esteban makes an evil face]
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Aaaahhhh!
- [Maddie disappears ino the wall]
- Zack Martin: Maddie, no!
- London Tipton: Irene, I hate to be a bit of a nudge, but uh, can I have my money back?
- Esteban: [in Irene's voice] You will be silent!
- London Tipton: Okay, never mind.
- Cody Martin: I-I hate pizza!
- [gasps when Blankie floats away]
- Cody Martin: Blankie, no!
- [disppears into the wall while chasing Blankie]
- Zack Martin: Cody? Buddy? Oh, no. Mom's not gonna like this.
- London Tipton: So, about that thousand dollars...
- [disappears into another wall]
- London Tipton: I'll take a check!
- Zack Martin: Esteban, hang up on her!
- Esteban: Esteban's gone. Say adios, amigos! Ayayayayayayay!
- [disappears from his seat]
- Muriel: Her name was Irene and she was beautiful!
- London Tipton: Oo, just think me, but not as rich, or pretty, and dead.
- Muriel: Anyways, in 1940, Irene and her husband checked in to this hotel, but he left.
- Zack Martin: What happened?
- London Tipton: He went off to war. She waited 3 years, but he never came back.
- Zack Martin: So, he died in battle?
- London Tipton: No, he...
- [Muriel stuffs the feather duster in London's mouth]
- Muriel: He mat some Italian babe and opened up a pizza parlor in Naples.
- London Tipton: [spits out feathers] She got so mad, she threw the silver brush he had given her at the mirror.
- Muriel: The mirror shattered into a million pieces and a chard flew out, and that was the end of that. Ccccccrrrrrrr!
- [putting her finger across her throat]
- Muriel: Good luck.
- Zack Martin: Arwin, why are you wearing a welding mask?
- Arwin: It gives me an air of mystery.
- [He puts the mask over his face]
- Arwin: [In a Darth Vader voice] The force is strong with this one.
- Carey: Cody, when I left, there was a floor under this mess. I'd lilke it back. Could you clean up?
- Cody Martin: Pshhh, next, she'll be telling me to take a bath.
- [Zack grabs Cody's arm]
- Cody Martin: Aaaahhh!
- Zack Martin: [comes out of the mess] Hahaha! Got cha!
- Cody Martin: No, got you!
- [pins Zack to the ground]
- Carey: Cody, why are you wiping the floor with your brother's face? Well, if it gets the stain out.
- Cody Martin: Mom, Zack scared me again.
- Carey: Zack, you know Cody's...
- [hesitates]
- Carey: sensative. Why do you do it?
- Zack Martin: 'Cause it's my job.
- Carey: Well, you're fired. Clean up.
- Zack Martin: You should've seen your face! Oh, I can show it to you.
- [impersonates Cody]
- [everyone reveals that the ghost haunting the hotel was all a big practical joke on Zack]
- Zack Martin: You guys are mean!
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: [scoffs] We're sorry, Zack, but you've played so many practical jokes on us. We just want to show you how it feels.
- Esteban: Yes. Forgive me, my little friend, but you should not have made me the butt of the gassy noises joke, most of which were not mine.
- Arwin: [scratching himself] Or put itching power in my coveralls.
- London Tipton: Yeah, or sent me that fake love letter from Orlando Bloom. He took out a restraining order against me!
- Zack Martin: I didn't send you any letter.
- Maddie Fitzpatrick: Okay, that was me. Sorry.
- Zack Martin: Well, the joke was all on you guys, because I wasn't really scared.
- Cody Martin: [scoffs] Yeah, right! You should have seen your face. Oh, wait, I can show you your face.
- [he mockingly imitates Zack's scream of terror at Zack, who glowers darkly at him and chases him out of the room]