Danny DeVito credited as playing...
Louie De Palma
- Louie De Palma: Let me get this straight here. You ... will love me ... if I never see you again.
- Emily: Right.
- Louie De Palma: But if I stay, you won't like me.
- Emily: I'll despise you.
- Louie De Palma: And if I walk out that door ...
- Emily: I'm yours forever.
- Louie De Palma: You're a very complicated girl.
- Bartender: You want a drink?
- Louie De Palma: Yeah. Yeah, ah, let me have something tall... cold... and sticky. Something that would be impossible to wash out of your hair.
- Louie De Palma: You know something, Emily? Someday, your Mr. Right is gonna come along. And when he does ... he's gonna be wearing a white coat and carrying a butterfly net.
- Louie De Palma: It's the only score in my life I haven't settled. For a year I've wanted to do this. When she called me gross and disgusting, I had a drink in my hand. I always regretted I didn't throw it in her face. She's in a bar now. I'm gonna go down there and sluice down that little tart until there's eye make-up runnin' out of her shoes.
- Louie De Palma: What do you call a man who spends two hours walking through the snow, looking for blueberries?
- Alex Reiger: A romantic fool.
- Louie De Palma: No. A weenie.