A Thing About Machines

Richard Haydn plays Bartlett Finchley, an acid-tongued but unhappy man who lives alone in his mansion, and constantly complains about evil machines that not only won't work for him, but are conspiring to kill him. Barney Philips is most amusing as his long-suffering TV repairman who has grown tired of constantly repairing perfectly good televisions that Finchley has kicked in. Turns out the machines are out to get him after all... Heavy-handed yet still entertaining episode has a singularly unpleasant lead character that it is difficult to build any sympathy for, but of course it's possible he doesn't warrant any; in any case, it is a memorable effort.

The lonely and snobbish forty-eight year-old food critic Bartlett Finchley has paranoia with his appliances and machines. He has problems with his television, radio, clock, electric razors, typewriter and car. When he receives the message "Get out of the house" from his appliances, he decides to stay home with tragic consequences. "A Thing About Machines" is a pointless and silly episode of "The Twilight Zone". It is not clear whether Finchley was delusional in his paranoia or whether he was attacked indeed by his car and appliances. My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "Sobre Máquinas" ("About Machines")

This is the story of a bitter man who hates technology. Of course, the technology of his day is a razor, a toaster, a television. Well it's the story of the Good Little Toaster that has had enough. The typewriter writes threatening notes. We've all imagined if our appliances or our toys came to life and began to try to do us in. In this, the plot is OK, but the effects and the resolution are so bad, it's laughable. There is a great deal of ranting and threat. And why is this man so angry? Has he been chosen for his fate, or has he brought it upon himself? Anyway, given the fact that he doesn't listen to the threats and stays put, he eventually must confront the situation in which he finds himself. The acting is hammy and over the top. Watch this only for its quirky amusement value.

With the legendary Richard Haydn as the lead in this episode, I expected better things. But a weak script, poorly executed, pretty much sinks this episode entirely. It always takes some suspension of disbelief to watch the Twilight Zone now, given how slickly produced movies and TV shows are now, with incredible special effects, but with good episodes, I can see past the low-budget production values. Not with this one. I actually laughed out loud over the electric shaver attack, not only because of the visible string but also because it was so absurd. This is an episode that could have been made much more effectively, even with the budget restraints. Oh, well, given the brilliance of the other episodes, it's hard to criticize... just don't let this be the first Twilight Zone you ever watch (or it will be the only one).

This truly not one of the better episodes, but what is of interest is that Bartlett Finchley is almost certainly modeled after the humorist and movie personality Robert Benchley.

Benchley, who died in 1945 or thereabouts, became topical in 1960 as the result of the publication of a collection of his best humor by his son Nathaniel Benchley. Benchley fought an unending war against the inanimate objects around him, which he chronicled in a number of delightful and very funny pieces. Serling, who was hard up for ideas by that point, must have been as impressed as I was.

Or so I do believe. In any case, I have always thought the similarity between the characters name 'Finchley' and 'Benchley' is no coincidence.