James Coburn credited as playing...
Major French
- Major French: Mr. Goldsmith. The following is unofficial. Now, we'd like you to make your transition here as easy as possible. Now, under certain circumstances we might even allow you to remain in nominal control. Assuming that you don't give us any trouble. Now, that's unofficial. The following is official.
- [slaps him to the ground]
- Major French: Now let me fill you in on the situation here, Mr. Goldsmith. Between Buffalo, New York and Atlanta, Georgia, there are probably around five hundred people alive. You know why. Well, because there's no authority, there's no discipline. Now we're here to give you a little of both. And if you give us any trouble, any trouble at all, I'm gonna hang you. From that balcony right over there.
- Major French: Where is this old man that keeps you on a diet? When does he come out?
- Goldsmith: He never comes out. He stays in the cave.
- Major French: Well, I'm not surprised, Mr Goldsmith. I'm not surprised at all. You see, off Lake Erie we've got a pack of wierdies up there that bay at the moon once a week. And then around what used to be Chicago, man, we've got a real swinging cult goin' there. They've built themselves a statue made out of fissionable lead. This is their "diety". What do we have here? We have an invisible old man in a cave.
- Major French: Friends, Romans, Farm Animals! We are now going up to the cave and check your favorite recluse. We're gonna bring him out in the sunshine and get a good look at him. And then we're gonna decide if he's worthwhile keeping alive.
- Major French: Now, I don't think any of you are going to die of radioactivity. I think if you're going to kick off, you're going to kick off either from malnutrition, or from being conned to death.
- Goldsmith: If that's true, Major, at least it'll be a painless death.