Charlie Sheen credited as playing...
Charlie Harper
- Charlie Harper: [Rose strokes Charlie's hair, waking him] Rose, how do you keep getting in the house?
- Rose: [Rose has been lying next to Charlie in bed for a while without him knowing] Oh, Charlie, aren't we past that? I just thought you'd like to know that your brother's sleepwalking again.
- Charlie Harper: And you had to get in bed with me to tell me that?
- Rose: No, silly. I was already in bed with you.
- Alan: [Alan's take-out is wrong] I'm gonna call that restaurant and give them a piece of my mind!
- Charlie Harper: That's smart. Scream at the people who handle your food.
- Charlie Harper: Lemme ask you something. When's the last time you had sex with a girl? Or a melon? Or anything?
- Alan: [outraged] None of your business!
- Charlie Harper: That long, huh?
- Alan: Why do you care?
- Charlie Harper: I dunno. You just have that twitchy look of a guy who's got one stuck in the chamber.