Robert Downey Jr. credited as playing...
Tony Stark • Iron Man
- Tony Stark: What's the stat, Rogers?
- Steve Rogers: [looks at the Helicarrier tech] It seems to be powered by some sort of electricity!
- Tony Stark: ...well, you're not wrong.
- Loki: The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear?
- Tony Stark: The Avengers. That's what we call ourselves; we're sort of like a team. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" type thing.
- Loki: Yes, I've met them.
- Tony Stark: Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them.
- Loki: That was the plan.
- Tony Stark: Not a great plan. When they come, and they WILL, they'll come for you.
- Loki: I have an army.
- Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.
- Loki: I thought the beast had wandered off...
- Tony Stark: You're missing the point! There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it!
- Steve Rogers: Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?
- Tony Stark: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.
- Steve Rogers: I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.
- Tony Stark: I think I would just cut the wire.
- Steve Rogers: Always a way out... You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.
- Tony Stark: A hero? Like you? You're a lab rat, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!
- Steve Rogers: Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds.
- Iron Man: [as the fight begins] Call it, Captain!
- Captain America: Alright, listen up. Until we can close that portal, our priority's containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash.
- Hawkeye: [to Iron Man] Want to give me a lift?
- Iron Man: Right. Better clench up, Legolas.
- [Iron Man takes Hawkeye up to the roof]
- Captain America: Thor, you gotta try and bottleneck that portal. Slow 'em down. You got the lightning. Light the bastards up.
- [Thor swings his hammer and flies off and Captain America turns to Black Widow]
- Captain America: You and me, we stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here. And Hulk?
- [the Hulk turns and glares at Cap]
- Captain America: Smash!
- [Hulk grins and leaps away]
- [Stark suits up to chase Thor and Loki]
- Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack!
- Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack!
- Thor: Do not touch me again!
- Tony Stark: Then don't take my stuff.
- Thor: You have no idea what you are dealing with.
- Tony Stark: Uh, Shakespeare in The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?
- Thor: This is beyond you, metal man. Loki will face Asgardian justice.
- Tony Stark: He gives up the Cube, he's all yours. Until then, stay out of the way, tourist.
- Tony Stark: [about Loki killing Coulson] He made it personal.
- Steve Rogers: That's not the point.
- Tony Stark: That IS the point. That's Loki's point! He hit us all right where we live. Why?
- Steve Rogers: To tear us apart.
- Tony Stark: Yeah, divide and conquer is great, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? THAT'S what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience.
- Steve Rogers: Right. I caught his act at Stuttgart.
- Tony Stark: Yeah, that was just previews. This is - this is opening night. And Loki, he's a full-tilt diva, right? He wants flowers, he wants parades. He wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered...
- [Stark pauses; he and Rogers look at each other knowingly]
- Tony Stark: Sonofabitch!
- Pepper Potts: Is this about the Avengers? Which I know nothing about.
- Tony Stark: The Avengers initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qualify.
- Pepper Potts: I didn't know that either.
- Tony Stark: Apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, and don't play well with others.
- Pepper Potts: That I did know.
- Steve Rogers: Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?
- Bruce Banner: He'd have to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.
- Tony Stark: Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunnelling effect.
- Bruce Banner: Well, if he could do that, he could achieve heavy ion fusion at any reactor on the planet.
- Tony Stark: Finally, someone who speaks English.
- Steve Rogers: Is that what just happened?
- [Stark and Banner shake hands]
- Tony Stark: It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.
- Bruce Banner: Thanks.
- Nick Fury: [to Stark] Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him.
- Steve Rogers: Let's start with that stick of his. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a Hydra weapon.
- Nick Fury: I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.
- Thor: Monkeys? I do not understand.
- Steve Rogers: I do!
- [Stark rolls his eyes, while Captain America looks proud of himself]
- Steve Rogers: I understood that reference.
- Tony Stark: [regaining consciousness] What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.
- Steve Rogers: We won.
- Tony Stark: Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.
- Loki: Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity
- Tony Stark: Uh, actually I'm planning to threaten you.
- Loki: You should have left your armor on for that.
- Tony Stark: Yeah. It's seen a bit of "mileage" and you got the "glow-stick of destiny". Would you like a drink?
- Loki: Stalling me won't change anything
- Tony Stark: No, no no, threatening! No drink? You sure? I'm having one.
- Agent Phil Coulson: [via phone] Mr Stark, we need to talk.
- Tony Stark: You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message.
- Agent Phil Coulson: This is urgent.
- Tony Stark: Then leave it urgently.
- [Coulson enters Stark's penthouse, hanging up his cellphone]
- Tony Stark: Security breach.
- Tony Stark: [to Pepper] That's on you.
- Agent Phil Coulson: Mr Stark.
- Pepper Potts: Phil! Come in.
- Tony Stark: "Phil?" Uh, his first name is "Agent."
- Tony Stark: [Covering his eye, looks around] How does Fury even see these?
- Maria Hill: He turns.
- Tony Stark: Sounds exhausting.
- Tony Stark: [to Bruce Banner] You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?
- Natasha Romanoff: [all arguing in the lab] Are you really that dense? S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threats.
- Bruce Banner: Captain America is on threat watch?
- Natasha Romanoff: We ALL are!
- Tony Stark: [to Rogers] You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees?
- Steve Rogers: I swear, Stark, one more wisecrack out of you...
- Tony Stark: Verbal threat! Threatening! I'm being threatened!
- Tony Stark: You know, I've got a cluster of shrapnel, trying every second to crawl its way into my heart.
- [Stark points at the mini-arc reactor in his chest]
- Tony Stark: This stops it. This little circle of light. It's part of me now, not just armor. It's a... terrible privilege.
- Bruce Banner: But you can control it.
- Tony Stark: Because I learned how.
- Bruce Banner: It's different.
- [Banner tries to read the computer screen, but Stark slides the data aside with his finger so the two can see face-to-face]
- Tony Stark: Hey, I've read all about your accident. That much gamma exposure should have killed you.
- Bruce Banner: So you're saying that the Hulk... the other guy... saved my life? That's nice. It's a nice sentiment. Save it for what?
- Tony Stark: I guess we'll find out.
- [Banner and Stark get back to work at their respective computers]
- Bruce Banner: You might not like that.
- Tony Stark: You just might.
- Loki: How will your friends have time for me, when they're so busy fighting you?
- [taps Stark with his scepter, but the Arc Reactor stops the effect]
- Loki: [tries again, with no success] This usually works...
- Tony Stark: Well, performance issues, it's not uncommon. One out of five...
- [after attacking Loki with full weapons activated]
- Tony Stark: Make a move, Reindeer Games...
- [Loki quietly surrenders]
- Tony Stark: Good move.
- Steve Rogers: Mr. Stark.
- Tony Stark: Captain.