The Raven

omg...This is the absolute worst movie I have ever, ever, ever, ever, ever seen. The only thing I enjoyed about this movie was reading the other User Comments about it, while the movie was on. After about 15 minutes, I just had to come to this site to see what type of rating it had...the rating is far too high.

I spent a whole $7.00 (about $6.75 too much) on this unimaginably stupid movie. Now I have to donate $7.00 of stupidity to Goodwill or the Salvation Army.

Envision "shouting" with the proceeding:

Warning!!! Do not attempt to watch this atrocity!

Save yourselves! Learn from our mistake.

The Raven,

By Edgar Allan Poe, by way of Ulli Lommel

---------------------------------------

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

I, not thinking, brought back The Raven from the movie store.

While I watched, I wished for napping, to save me from this horrid crapping,

As Ulli Lommel's vicious trapping made me feel like his dirty whore.

'Tis god awful,' I muttered, 'this movie I abhor-

I wish I had rented something more.'

-----

Ah, distinctly I remember, this would have offended famous Edgar,

As he clawed the lid of his coffin, deep below the graveyard floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; - nothing's brought me greater sorrow,

Had I just been somewhat stronger, I'd've thrown this out the door,

Perhaps shook it off and ascended to the store,

…But I stayed for Ulli's hellish tour.

-----

What this movie was about, I can't be certain,

It filled me with boredom - a boredom I'd never felt before.

An hour's time, the cast sat eating--and only talking, ain't that cheating?

With nary a reference to Mr. Poe, what was this movie made for?

If not to honor a genius, why suffer through this chore?

That it is, and nothing more.

-----

'Damn this movie's scent of farting! Damn it all!' I shrieked upstarting-

'This movie doth much offend me, I wish to hear me snore!

Does Ulli think my brain is broken, perhaps a boob who is soft-spoken,

As to not see in this 1800's sequence a very modern bedroom door?'

I pressed fast forward; the movie soared, thought of watching; held it more.

Qouth the Raven – 'I'm a bore.'

-----

And The Raven, so unfitting, please leave sitting, PLEASE leave sitting,

It can't bore you if it stays unseen, sitting in the movie store.

Late at night, it haunts my dreaming, I even sometimes wake up screaming,

And shake away haunts of Ulli's movie, filled with nothing but corny gore.

Nightly I pray o'er us all, my knees tucked 'neath me on the floor,

I pray to God that no luckless soul ever lift The Raven from the movie store.

Quoth the Raven – 'I'm a stain and nothing more.'

I watched this thinking it would be good. Im a huge Edgar Allan Poe fan. I sat back thinking it would be great. Such potential. Then it started. That is where the trouble began. The first 5 minutes make absolutely no sense. It's here, there and everywhere. Once the story starts, it has so little to do with the poem by Poe that its irritating. It was also very, very obviously done with the lowest possible budget imaginable. If you like good movies, pass. If you like B movies, pass. This is worse than a B movie. They don't actually show you much of any of the killings. You get the joy of seeing only shadows and being left to guess just what happened. When they do show you the dead bodies, you see blood, but strangely no wounds. The one good thing I will say on this movie is that at least they had the good sense to put trailers for some good movies on this DVD. Do yourself the favor of skipping this terribly made movie. You will be very, very glad you did.

What can I say ? Anyone who believes that "Plan Nine From Outer Space" is the worst movie ever made REALLY NEEDS to see this stinkburger. The writing is the essence of stupidity, the acting is an embarrassment, the direction is non-existent, the cinematography, done on disc and never even transferred to film, is horrible.

This thing definitely has set an entirely new standard for how terrible a movie can be. As someone who has been an actor for 35 years, and has been a true lover of the medium of movies, and as someone who has seen ALL the bad ones, from "Plan Nine From Outer Space" to "The Undertaker and His Pals" to "Shining Through", I will tell you all that if you see this in a store or in a library STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM IT AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN !!!!! It's so bad that you shouldn't even read the cover !!!!

I wish i could give it a 0. I'm doing a project on Edgar Allan Poe so I though it might be a good idea to watch some movies relating to Poe so I went down to blockbuster to get this, and while waiting in line we read the description and we all knew it was going to be bad, but oh my god I couldn't imagine it would have been this terrible. The story doesn't even make any sense and there's all this random crap in it that doesn't have anything to do with anything. I've seen some bad movies (we actually try and find the shittiest looking movie we can find for fun) but this one easily has the lowest budget I've seen, it looks like they just used a regular video camera and couldn't afford real actors so they just had friends act in it. Afterwards my friend even said "God, I can't believe we didn't stop watching it" I even just made this account so I could comment on it.