Stupid Teenagers Must Die!

Who did post production on the audio? A deaf guy with no arms or eyes who couldn't monitor the levels? Christ the audio has more fluctuations than the last girl I dated, and she was a real doozy AT BEST. I've heard better audio come out of a squirrels tiny butthole with better clarity. They have equipment specifically designed for this purpose. Seriously, it was all over the place. Was like having 10 five year olds in my living room one minute and the corpse of my long dead grandmother the next. Do you seriously not see the levels pegging the red zone and not between 80 yo 100 percent, which is the audio standard for acceptable levels. I could give my nephew a vhs camcorder, 5 bucks and a box of twinkies and have him fart in a toilet and it would come out like Shawshank Effing Redemption compared to this drivel.

There is such a thing as parody and parody can be very bad and still be very good. There is such a thing as camp and camp can be very bad and still be very good. There is also such a thing as flat out bad - nothing can save flat out bad and this dreck could be submitted as definitive of flat out bad. Not scary, not funny, badly filmed, possibly the worst sound I have ever not been able to avoid hearing, This is the first 'movie' I have ever attempted to watch. Literally - this is the first movie I have ever started and then simply given up on. I made it through twenty minutes and realized there was simply no reason to go on with the movies and stopped watching lest I start believing there was no reason to go on with life. The people who have given this movie good reviews are either high or getting paid.

To illustrate just how low I will go (in several directions: Zardoz had moments of genius, Piranhaconda could be seen in certain lights as an act of cinematic wonder, any Chuck Norris movie features better acting, every youtube video ever features better filming, every Michael Bay film ever has featured better dialogue, Bad Taste featured genuinely funny gore.

Just don't.

Seeing the title of this movie "Stupid Teenagers Must Die" made me believe this was a spoof of some kind. I discovered later on the original title was "Blood and Guts". Both titles are misleading, though. This is not a spoof, neither a serious splatter movie. This is something in between, failing in both areas. A group of teenagers is attending a séance at a spooky house and then the killing starts. Sounds over familiar, doesn't it. Well, this movies adds nothing whatsoever to the endless stream of similar movies. And it is badly made. Because of the lack of light the entire film is grainy. Now this effect can be highly effective, but it isn't in this case. The young cast isn't acting too badly, but the director has no clue as what to do with actors. In numerous scenes the actors are clearly waiting for directions, but these are given too late. It could also be an editor's mistake, of course. The characters are unrealistic and the story line just stinks. The sound is terrible at times: conversations are undecipherable, but when talking loudly or screaming the actors are very loud indeed.

This is not the worst horror movie I have ever seen, but it still is a bad one. For me a 3 out of 10.

Horror movies are fairly unoriginal, predictable and lame at the best of times. This is even worse, being amateurish, badly acted and badly produced. The plot is close to non-existent it's so random and unfathomable.

Avoid.

Stupid Teenagers Must Die" directed by Jeff C. Smith has accomplished being one of the funniest horror flicks out there right now.

He goes back to basics with this 80's oriented film that has you glued to the screen with it's goofiness and classic horror situations like the lights all go out and then the famous stupid question that is always asked comes, "Is someone in here?" You know with the whole "C'mon guys quit playing around" kinda thing.

A group of kids get together at Murder McGee's house to have a séance hoping to provoke his spirit into coming out to play. McGee murdered his family in the house and it's supposed to be haunted. Kane with his Michael Jackson like jacket and the beautiful Julie arrive at the house with Madelyn and Alfie sitting at the table looking smug. Maddy doesn't want Kane there at first but then it works out.

Tiffany the petite little blonde bounces in looking for Mike who didn't show up while the two lesbians Sissy and Jamie continue to moan and salivate on each other in excitement. Ryan the dork in the pink alligator on the pocket shirt who can't wait to get his ass a seat at the table next to anything female. Two geeks that must trail this crowd try to get involved but end up just taking a tour of the house instead Considering this film had a very tight budget I think it turned out great, there was plenty of blood to make use of on that set. I liked being able to laugh when something really awful was going on, "Cory Assink" was hilarious and reminded me of an Ashton Kutcher in his prime but a lot less annoying. When he found Madelyn and tried to tell the group what happened had me laughing my ass off.

Director Jeff C. Smith started his film career back in high school but says his projects back then will never be viewed for the sole purpose that they are positively awful. "Stupid Teenagers Must Die" is far from being a flop, it's everything any B movie lover every dreamed off. Blood and Boobs is a lethal combination in the horror world and this one has a little of both.