T.J. Miller: Tuffnut

How to Train Your Dragon

Tuffnut

Tuffnut: [after Astrid falls on top of Hiccup during dragon training] Ooooh, love on the battlefield!
Ruffnut: She could do better.

[Hiccup prepares to open one of the dragon pens]
Fishlegs: If you're planning on getting eaten, I'd definitely go with the Gronkle.
[Hiccup turns in surprise and sees his entire class lined up behind him]
Tuffnut: [approaching] You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon...
Hiccup: Um...
Tuffnut: It's me.
Snotlout: [shoves Tuffnut aside] I love this plan!
Hiccup: I... didn't...
Ruffnut: [shoves Snotlout aside] You're crazy!
[leans in, flirtatiously]
Ruffnut: I like that...
Astrid: [firmly yanks her away] So... what is the plan?

Gobber: Look for its blind spot! Every dragon has one. Find it, hide in it, and strike!
[Tuffnut and Ruffnut huddle in front of the dragon's face]
Ruffnut: [sniffing] Whoa! Do you *ever* bathe?
Tuffnut: You don't like it, then just get your own blind spot!
[they shove at each other]
Ruffnut: How about I give *you* one...!
[the dragon blasts fire at them, they run for cover]
Gobber: Blind spot, yes. Deaf spot... Not so much.

Fishlegs: [to Tuffnut] Your mom let you get a tattoo?
Tuffnut: It's not a tattoo, it's a birth mark!
Ruffnut: Okay, I've been stuck with you since birth and that was never there before.
Tuffnut: Yes it was! You've just never seen me from the left side until now.

Hiccup: [watching the dragons take off with their livestock] Okay, but I hit a Night Fury.
[Stoick grabs him and begins hauling him up the hill]
Hiccup: Ahh, it's not like the last few times, Dad, I mean, I *really* actually hit it! You guys were busy and I had a very clear shot, it went down just off Raven Point. Let's get a search party out there before it...
Stoick: STOP! Just... stop. Everytime you step outside, disaster falls. Can you not see that I have bigger problems? Winter is almost here and I have an entire village to feed!
Hiccup: Eh, between you and me, the village could do with a little *less* feeding, don't you think?
[the Vikings behind him touch their stomachs self-consciously]
Stoick: This isn't a joke, Hiccup! Agh, why can't you follow the simplest orders?
Hiccup: I - I can't stop myself! I see a dragon and I have to just... kill it, you know? It's who I am, Dad.
Stoick: Oh, you are many things, Hiccup. But a dragon killer is not one of them. Get back to the house.
[to Gobber]
Stoick: Make sure he gets there! I have his mess to clean up.
[Gobber smacks Hiccup upside the head to get him walking]
Tuffnut: [to Hiccup] Quite the performance.
Snotlout: I've never seen anyone mess up that badly. That *helped*!
Hiccup: Thank you, thank you, I was trying, so...

Gobber: [Slapping a thick book on the table] The Dragon Manual. Everything we know about every dragon we know of.
[Thunder rumbles]
Gobber: No attacks tonight. Study up.
Tuffnut: Wait, you mean *read*?
Ruffnut: While we're still alive?
Snotlout: Why read words when you can just kill the stuff the words tell you stuff about?
Fishlegs: [eagerly] Oh! I've read it like, seven times. There's this water dragon that sprays boiling water at your face, and, and there's this other one, that buries itself for like a week...
Tuffnut: [interrupting] Yeah, that sounds great. There was a chance I was gonna read that...
Ruffnut: But, now...?

Gobber: The recruit who does best will win the honor of killing his first dragon in front of the entire village.
Snotlout: [joking] Hiccup already killed a Night Fury, so, does that disqualify him, or...?
[all snicker]
Tuffnut: Can I transfer to the class with the cool Vikings?

Hiccup: [instructing about the Green Death dragon] Fishlegs, break it down.
Fishlegs: Okay. Heavily armored skull and tail made for bashing and crushing! Steer clear of both! Small eyes, large nostrils! Relies on hearing and smell!
Hiccup: Okay. Lout, Legs, hang in its blind spot. Make some noise, keep it confused. Ruff, Tuff, find out if it has a shot limit. Make it mad.
Ruffnut: That's my specialty!
Tuffnut: Since when? Everyone knows I'm more irritating! See?
[turns upside down and makes noise]
Hiccup: Just do what I told you! I'll be back as soon as I can!
Snotlout: Don't worry, we got it covered!
Fishlegs: Yeah! Whoo!