Blonde and Blonder

Nowadays, it seems like Hollywood has completely run out of ideas and is simply resorting to taking existing scripts and swapping the genders of the main characters. However, it looks like this has been a thing waaay before 'Ghostbusters 2016' and that 'Ocean's 11' film with Sandra Bullock. Here we see the script from 'Dumb and Dumber' (the original and - only - good one) get photocopied and Harry and Lloyd replaced by Dee and - er - another woman beginning with 'D' (yes, I even can't remember characters' names straight after watching the film.

Pamela Anderson (apparently not a natural blonde) and Denise Richards (definitely not a natural blonde - and, for some reason, her hair looks more 'light brown' than blonde!) star as a pair of - and there's no other real word for them - 'bimbos' who get caught up with assassins, mobsters and a suitcase full of cash, ala 'Dumb and Dumber.' The only problem is the one thing that doesn't seem to have been successfully been replicated is the humour.

Okay, so I smiled a few times here and there, but all the 'jokes' (notice the quote marks?) rely on the two leads misunderstanding another person's line of dialogue. Either that or simply falling over. It doesn't help that the two leads are hardly 'A-list' any more and, without wishing to be too hard on them, you can sort of see why.

Both Pam and Denise are a bit 'one note.' This film could probably have been a series of sketches contained in some late night TV show which showcases a string of exaggerated characters, rather than one long narrative.

There are plenty of reviews that give this film a terrible 'one star' rating. I think that's a bit unfair. It's definitely not great, but it's far from the worst film ever. If you know what you're getting (and you don't have to pay to watch this), you can sort of have it on in the background and chuckle occasionally while you check your phone for messages.

Pamela Anderson hasn't exactly set the world alight since the heady days of "Baywatch", and Denise Richard's career has pretty much gone in the same direction since "Starship Troopers", so with Anderson credited as executive producer as well as main star, the words "Be afraid. Be very afraid" were flashing inside my brain in great big neon forty-foot letters. The DVD was deep in the bargain basement bin in my local store, so I wasn't expecting much. It looked like it could be a laugh though. Mind you, Anderson is the wrong side of 40, and Richards is in her late thirties, both of whom playing characters who should really be played by much younger actresses in their early twenties.

It's not original - the girls think that "taking Mr Wong out" means taking him on a date and not doing a mob hit on him. That's about as sophisticated as it gets - Two dumb blondes who don't have a clue about what is going on around them. At least the writers avoid the use of too much toilet humour apart from the farting turtle, while most of the production money probably went on Anderson and Richards matching wardrobes and the final speedboat chase scene. What you're looking at here is basically a female version of "Dumb and Dumber". It'll never win any Oscars, but the fact they have already announced a sequel means that no matter what the critics thought, some people actually sat down and watched this film and it made a decent profit, so its clearly not all that rubbish. It helps if you switch your brain off, and if you do, you'll probably find that this film is a fair bit of fun. I do hope they re-cast some younger actresses for the sequel though. This is a franchise that could go somewhere. 6/10

This film is about two blonde girls being mistaken by the police and mobs as ruthless assassins.

"Blonde and Blonder" is not as bad as I thought. I think the plot and the jokes work quite well. Having two dumb but attractive girls misunderstanding a very grave situation is actually hilarious. Obviously there are no intelligent moments, but at least it does not entirely rely on toilet humour or nudity to make viewers interested. I mean, they are actually very serious about this film, with so helicopters and speedboats in the final chase!

"Blonde and Blonder" is a great brain off entertainment for a quiet evening. After all, one would not expect any Oscar nominated performance!

Horrible premise, horrible script, horrible production quality, better than horrible acting make this movie a must watch. I cannot believe the budget on this disaster of a film is estimated at $8,000,000. Is that Canadian? Pam and Denise are the only reason to watch this attempt at a movie. I will always wonder how films such as these get greenlit. Just horrible.

Having typed all that, it is a fun frolic to enjoy during the early 2020's pandemic lock down.

"Blonde and Blonder" (2007) stars Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards as two blonde bimbos who are mistaken for notorious assassins. They're chased by the FBI, the real assassins (two sharp brunettes) and others.

I personally find air-headed bimbos annoying and neither Anderson or Richards trip my trigger in this movie (on a physical level). Anderson was 39 and Richards 35 when it was shot, with Anderson looking past her expiration date. But they're likable enough as the ditzy blonds. The first 25-30 minutes were pretty bad with literally nothing striking me as funny or interesting, but then the duo meet the mob boss at the Beaver Patch (a so-called "gentleman's club") and the sequence was so over-the-top I couldn't help but laugh. The movie won me over, sorta, as I laughed both with it and at it.

Emmanuelle Vaugier and Meghan Ory play the assassins, Cat and Kit, dressed in tight black leather outfits practically the entire film. Vaugier in particular is effective.

The locations are good, shot in Los Angeles & Santa Clarita, CA, Niagara Falls and British Columbia. There's a boat chase at the end reminiscent of "Live and Let Die," albeit no where near as good.

"Blonde and Blonder" is only worthwhile if you like the stars and appreciate really dumb humor. Most of the jokes fall flat, but it's consistently fun & zany and without idiotic toilet humor, except for the farting turtle. The biggest problem is that the entire first act is weak and seriously tempts the viewer to tune-out, but if you can resist it you'll catch the groove and be amused, IF you like dippy humor.

The film runs 95 minutes.

GRADE: C