Grizzly Rage

I watched this because I had a free movie pass. Even for free I felt cheated by this lousy excuse for a scary movie. The bear is the best actor in the film and there are not any decent gore shots. The dialogue is dumb and the story line is pretty unbelievable. I don't know if this is going to be on SciFi (like all sucky movies are) but don't watch it unless you are uber bored. I can usually sit through some pretty inane movies but this one was really bad. The ending is probably the biggest losing part of the story. You have been warned. I just hope others don't waste their time like I did on this piece of crap. I probably shouldn't blame the actors. This kinda reminded me of one of those "revenge of the ..." movies that got popular back in the 80's and that we all overdosed on.

I first saw Grizzly Rage, like so many other Big Creature Eating Attractive People films late one night on the Sci Fi channel with a large group of friends while the majority of us were downing sizable amounts of alcohol. As the sub-par Fast and the Furious style credits sequence shot past with a low rent nu-metal band playing in the background, I was still reasonably sober but could feel the effects of two purple nightmares (look them up) taking effect and knew that soon, I would be swimming in a haze of my own creation. For the sake of a cheap laugh or two, I found a pen and paper and wrote down all the things I learned from this movie. The results are as follows:

1. Bears pursue blood vendettas. 2. Americans graduate from high school at the average age of 24. 3. Bears can push land rovers over. 4. Being torn limb from limb by ferocious, man eating bears is nature's way of punishing you for minor traffic violations committed in your youth. 5. Girls tops can magically sew themselves back together after being ripped open. 6. Eating toxic waste makes bears bigger, stronger, more intelligent and far more bloodthirsty than average, rather than the predicted scientific outcome of causing malignant tumors and killing them. 7. Dressing like an extra from a Vanilla Ice video is no guarantee of survival. 8. You can get attacked by a bear, rolled off a cliff in a car, thrown spine first onto a bear trap and spend all day battling for survival on a sun parched strip of mid-western wilderness and still have better skin and hair than Andie McDowell. 9. Bears respond to sass. 10. Smashed land rovers will still run for miles if rolled down a small hill to gather momentum.

In other words folks, this is not great. In fact it's terrible. CGI blood, stock footage, awful characters and death scenes so pathetic they don't even make a group of five young men, drunk off their heads on aftershock concoctions laugh. Avoid.

Wow is this stupid.

First off, you have 4 teens (that look like 30-year-olds) cruising in their Jeep Cherokee at about 60 miles per hour while listening to awful pop music. They brake into some park and accidentally run over a baby bear. But...uh oh, MOMMY'S ANGRY!!

Thats right! Mommy bear is angry! Good thing she drinks toxic waste from a pond that makes her grow 2 her size (I'm dead serious about that.)! This film is simply about 90 minutes of bad dialog, and, occasionally, a giant bear. But there are so many huge plot holes. 1, a jeep that has been flipped over TWICE, hit a tree, and over heats, STILL RUNS. 2, an already large grizzly drinks toxic waste from a pond that Doesn't kill it. 3, Even though the bear in the film is a female, it sometimes has male genitalia. WTF?

This film also is in my top 10 for 'Worst Endings Ever'. Why? Because: When the last 2 survivors are trying to run away, one trips and falls. The other person goes back to help, but he says "No! Leave me here!" but the other one says "No! We can still make it!" They argue this for about 45 seconds before the bear gets them. And when the bear gets them, fake animated blood splatters on the screen, like something you'd see in a Windows Moviemaker project.

There were 2 things I liked. 1: The bear used was never CGI, it was actually a trained bear that was 100% real, living and breathing. 2: This is one of the few movies where the monster actually wins and kills everyone. Even though the execution sucked, it was still a nice twist.

Overall, its STUPID. Its really, REALLY bad, but if you wanna see it, I wont stop you.

This movie is brutal from start to finish. Obviously the writer/director don't necessarily believe in the old adage of "anything worth doing is worth doing well". The director has no knowledge of bear behavior or safety. Which you should have if your going to make a movie with a bear. First of all you cant just hide around a tree/corner from a bear, cause bear's have a keen sense of smell. Second, the amplified bear sounds and the shots of the bear at least initially were horrible. The night scenes...you cant hardly see anything, not to mention some of the other camera work. And the ending is brutal...well why would it be any different than the rest of the movie. I cant believe that this movie made it past the editing phase.

Grizzly Rage (2007)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Incredibly stupid and rather boring "nature attacks" film has four teenagers deciding to go off roading for some weekend fun. Like idiots they decide to go through a gate warning them not to go any further but they want to have some fun. Soon the laughs turn to sadness as they accidentally kill a bear cub and soon it's large mother comes for revenge. There's really not too many good things going for this film, which runs out of ideas around the fifteen-minute mark and then we're left with one bad or boring event after another. I think the worst thing is that this film starts off so poorly that you can't help but hate the four people simply because of how annoying they are. You hate them so much for being so stupid and then they end up killing a baby bear and in all honesty I doubt many people are going to feel sorry for them once mommy comes. I think a lot of people are going to be cheering for the bear but the screenplay then adds dumb scenes like the group crying and wondering what they did to deserve the bear attacks. Well, duh, you were acting stupid and killed her child. The screenplay never seems to have any idea of what it wants to do because we're given so many scenes where nothing happens or the characters end up talking about things that either make no sense or you have to wonder why they're even talking about them since they're all about to get eaten. The bear attacks aren't the greatest in the world but they're serviceable. I think the best thing that can be said is that they use a real bear so it's none of that CGI madness. There are a couple shots that are obviously fake including one rather funny sequence where the bear uses its head to try and push the jeep off a cliff. The performances are pretty much what you'd expect from a film like this but the screenplay does none of them any justice. GRIZZLY RAGE isn't the worst film ever made but you should still pretty much skip it and just check out the must better GRIZZLY.