Slaughtered Vomit Dolls

What the hell was that mess I just watched??? Well, apparently it was meant to be the sickest, scariest, most disturbing thing ever made. Well, Slaughtered Vomit Dolls is far from any of those, in fact, it was merely a pathetic attempt to shock using vomit-gore. And there wasn't even that much of it, it was mainly some random nudity and a girl talking about her feelings. It was poorly edited, it had no plot whatsoever, the music was appalling and for some reason the director slowed down the voices. That was just irritating.

The gore was fairly well done with some sick effects (including a detailed face-stabbing/eye removal scene) but some were spoiled by ludicrous events. Eg. a girl gets her arm sawed off then she is handed a guitar (WTF????!!!!!????!!!). Really dumb and unintentionally funny. The vomit scenes were fairly nauseating but they were all just them sticking their hands down their throats.

Please, don't waste your life on this movie, it was pointless and boring as *beep*. Just a pathetic attempt to be shocking.

0/5.

For a movie titled "Slaughtered Vomit Dolls" (and what exactly is a 'vomit doll' anyway?) and with an IMDb synopsis which reads: "The gruesome tapestry of psychological manifestations of a nineteen year old bulimic runaway stripper-turned prostitute as she descends into a hellish pit of satanic nightmares and hallucinations", Lucifer Valentine's 2006 opus "Slaughtered Vomit Dolls" is exceptionally dull. When it's not boring you "Slaughtered Vomit Dolls" seems especially keen on slaughtering your brain cells with its never before reached level of stupidity.

Hey, we all like a good dumb movie. "Lifeforce". "Plan 9". "Manos". "Hobgoblins". But those were funny. They were amusingly bad. Sometimes they became awfully boring, but you sat there amazed at how bad they were. Then you come to "Slaughtered Vomit Dolls", which reaches an unprecedented level of idiocy. There is absolutely not even an attempt at basic competence in the film-making or writing or acting. Any effort made on the film went into the gore effects, which, while reasonably well-done, we are unable to focus on due to Valentine's apparent attempt to violate every basic law of film-making. It's like watching a bad parody of a Nine Inch Nails video for 70 minutes.

The acting talent including Pig Lizzy, Princess Pam, and Miss Pussy Pants do an admirable job at vomiting and being slaughtered, as well as being dolls, although you can smell their teeth rotting from all the meth just by watching the movie. The male talent do a spectacular job at vomiting and slaughtering as well.

Overall this might just be truly the worst film of all time. "Ben and Arthur" would have to be significantly worse than I expect it to be to claim the title.

This movie does not belong to any genre of films, it shouldn't even be CALLED a movie. It is a one hour and ten minutes long video of people getting slaughtered in extremely gross ways, and people continuously vomiting on each other. The one thing this movie for sure is, is a huge waste of time. Don't ever bother watching it.

This movie is honestly one of the most pretentious movies I've ever seen. It is like an amalgamation of every single pretentious art house film trope ever: the found footage style to make up for the terrible production quality, the random over the top gore and nudity, the religious imagery, the reversed audio, the jumbled editing, the complete lack of any coherent plot or characters, etc. And for defenders of this film who will say, "it's not supposed to make sense; it's supposed to be open to interpretation; you missed the point of the movie," I will say, that doesn't matter. Yes, art is art, anyone can find some meaning in almost anything, but this movie is a jumbled mess. It's repetitive, beyond just the fact that it kinda just cycles between brutal violence and gore, people vomiting, and random abruptly cut, out of context dialogue, it literally reuses so much footage over and over. I swear they probably only recorded about 30 minutes of footage, and just extended it out to 110 minutes by just repeating the footage over and over. This movie gives me the terrible impression that it thinks it's super deep and creative and outside the box, when really it's just edgy for the sake of being edgy. Pushing boundaries and having a lot of nudity and gore isn't inherently pretentious, so long as it is doing those things for the sake of making a point or showing a deeper meaning. But this movie is the opposite of that, it's ridiculously over the top disgusting for the sake of being disgusting and getting attention.

The creators clearly lack the talent & resources to make a decent coherent film. SVD reminded me of a p*ss poor, made-the-night before student film. Don't believe any of the hype, DO NOT PAY FOR THIS FILM, go & watch a real movie instead.

Granted, some of the gore was nice, but I would rather just watch a slide show of the prosthetics. This film is a pathetic waste of time, completely devoid of artistic merit; it smacks of bored genre groupies, desperate to make a name for themselves, but lacking the creative chutzpah to dent an already crowded scene.

Trash, in the worst possible way.