Charlie Day credited as playing...
Charlie Kelly
- Frank Reynolds: Charlie, you've got a lot of balls stealing my money. This shows leadership. I am promoting you to management.
- Charlie Kelly: That's why I did it. That is why I did it.
- Mac: That's why I did it too, Frank! I stole lots of your money, what do I get?
- Frank Reynolds: You get dick, because you are a follower and a thief.
- Dee Reynolds: How come Charlie...? Not fair... How come Charlie...?
- Dennis Reynolds: Why would you do this to us, Dad?
- Frank Reynolds: Because you are crackheads, children.
- Mac: [looking over prospective employees at the welfare office] What about that one? He seems strong. Look at those massive thighs.
- Charlie Kelly: Yeah those are good thighs, but you're gonna have a problem with work ethic.
- Mac: That's what I'm talking about dude, you can't be saying things like that.
- Charlie Kelly: No dude, I'm not saying that 'cause he's black, I'm saying 'cause he's asleep in his chair.
- Charlie Kelly: All I'm saying is that slaves is not a racist term. Look throughout history many people have been slaves. There have been Jewish slaves, Italian slaves, Asian slaves.
- Mac: Yes Charlie but you have to realize that in this country it's a sensitive issue.
- Charlie Kelly: Alright. So what's the vig?
- Frank Reynolds: What?
- Charlie Kelly: Yeah, man. What's the vig on this action?
- Frank Reynolds: Do you even know what VIG means?
- Frank Reynolds: Well, if we're gonna do something like this, we gotta make sure we don't abuse anybody.
- Charlie Kelly: No, I mean I know what it's like to grow up poor. You know, we gotta treat people with respect.
- Mac: Respect is the name of the game. Respect is number one!
- Charlie Kelly: It's the name of almost every game.
- Mac: Absolutely because we understand the plight of the worker.
- Charlie Kelly: Plight...
- Mac: Respect.
- Charlie Kelly: Respect the plight. What d'ya think, Frank?
- Frank Reynolds: I'm good, go get us some slaves.