Patrick Warburton credited as playing...
Joe Swanson
- Joe Swanson: [at The Drunken Clam] Peter, what's the matter with you today? You're not yourself.
- Peter Griffin: Guys, I went to Dr. Hartman yesterday and... he did things to my fanny!
- Cleveland Brown: Peter, it's okay.
- Peter Griffin: It's not okay! You don't know what it's like!
- Cleveland Brown: You're wrong. I, too, have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insidey parts!
- Peter Griffin: He... he did it to you, too?
- Glenn Quagmire: I have something to say. Dr. Hartman violated me as well. I only went in there for a physical/guinea pig removal, but I turned out to be the guinea pig, for his sexual experimentation!
- Joe Swanson: You guys are a bunch of queers.
- [wheels off-screen, then returns, crying]
- Joe Swanson: And so am I! Oh God, it was horrible! I scrubbed and I scrubbed, but damn it, they don't make water hot enough!
- Peter Griffin: My God, we've all been victims of Dr. Hartman's "prostate exam." Well, gentleman, the abuse stops here. I will not turn a brown eye to this. I am gonna sue that bastard and make him pay out the ass. No ifs, ands or buts. I'm gonna be real anal about this.
- [pause]
- Peter Griffin: Sphincter.
- Joe Swanson: Peter, you're urinating unusually frequently.
- Glenn Quagmire: Yeah, what gives?
- Captain Seamus: If it's gale force peeing you be doin', it could mean you've got barnacles on your prostate. Best have sick bay check below your decks.
- Peter Griffin: Wait a minute. Are you telling me I need a prostate exam?
- Captain Seamus: Aye, and soon before your rudder jams with flotsam and you're droppin' anchor without an order from the captain.