Petrified

I have to start keeping a log of movies watched. If I've ever seen a worse film, I can't remember it.

Utter ordure from beginning to end. I won't dignify it with with any analysis or description beyond that, except to say that there's a brief, hopeful moment when we learn that the setting is a "clinic for the treatment of nymphomania," but alas...

I don't know what the other reviewer is drinking - I like bourbon, and the only way I can imagine liquor making this "film" any better is during that brief, fleeting moment of vivid hallucination (that we're watching some other movie, perhaps?) that comes right after hepatic shutdown, and just before irreversible coma.

This flick felt like a modern spin on the Ed Wood motif. A petrified alien mummy monster prowls the grounds of a nymphomaniac clinic, freezing and sometimes killing the hot chicks who are found in various states of undress. It's got cornball dialogue and don't expect a script like Alien; in fact, if you've read the synopsis, seen that it is a Full Moon flick, and even now are reading this review, then you know what you are getting. If you are expecting a great horror epic, then you will be disappointed. If you want a modern, campy, goofball riff on an Ed Wood motif, then you'll like it. Watch it with friends.

Pretty much everything thrown up at the screen for this one was a miss.

The problem is the bare bones plot, direction, and effects that did make it up on the screen.

The movie minus opening and closing credits runs about less than an hour.

That's how little is there.

An alien mummy which is all it is ever explained as is quickly re-animated when an artifacts collector is killed and bleeds on it. A hand from another alien or etc. Mummy also is revived but it is never explained how.

The mummy then goes into a nearby unguarded and unstaffed nymphomaniac clinic where there are barely any nymphos and causes havoc there for the rest of the scant movie.

A federal investigator also seeks refuge in the clinic who ends up battling the mummy along with a female trying to break her sister out of it.

The effects, kills, pacing, how the mummy is warded off at times and then defeated are all 3rd rate even for a low budget movie.

Just mostly a miss on everything. Maybe it should be comforting it was so short.

The one thing Band mostly tried to sell for the movie is that he gave everybody an executive producer credit that bought $100 or more of merchandise at a stop on his Roadshow tour in 2005. That unfortunately doesn't make a movie any better in any way for the viewer.....

Since I already had an idea what to expect, I went in with an open mind. I hate the idea of giving this company money to eatch this, but I didnt, so no loss. I havent laughed this hard at even a comedy, but dont pass this film up. I use film loosely. Best enjoyed with large amounts of whiskey and an innocent bystander. I gave it a 10, cause this is by far, and that is saying something, the worst (in an almost good way) movie I've ever seen. Please watch. Good luck.

When you watch movies like this you can not expect much; disappointment will surely follow. Full Moon productions are z movies but with a surprise. The actors really do buy into what ever schlock there are in. Schlock is a compliment. The filming and editing seem to work out most if the time...keep the vid cam rolling. So to this movie...it has all you would want in a Full Moon movie...monsters... a sapphic scene...cheesy dialogue...I hope you get the Full Moon picture. 126 more characters to go. So watch on a free stream...I can see asking for a refund if you rented it...but you did rent and watch it....🤔. Have fun as always folks!