Kathy Najimy: Mrs. Jewls

Wayside School

Mrs. Jewls

Mrs. Jewls: The point of an election is not for everyone to vote for themselves. The point is for everyone to vote for the best candidate.
[the class understands]
Mrs. Jewls: [laughing] I'm sorry. You're right. I guess I should've explained that before. Cuckoo!

Mrs. Jewls: It makes me sad to do this, Todd. But as your teacher, I must warn you. One more outburst, I will have to circle your name and you will be sent home at noon on the kindergarten bus.

Todd: Mrs. Jewls, that's a trash can.
Mrs. Jewls: And where would you have us throw our ballads, Todd? Out the window?
[the class laughs]

[Dana is the last to catch the ball in a presidential game of dodgeball]
Mrs. Jewls: Congratulations! You are our new class president!
Dana: Me? But what about... What about Myron? *He* should be class president, not me!
Mrs. Jewls: Sorry, but you caught the ball. And Myron, you are not class president.
[Myron breaks down]

[last lines]
Dana: And so, Todd, to thank you for rescuing us and to officially welcome you to Wayside, we have a little gift for you. Myron?
[Myron carries a desk over to Todd]
Todd: Is that desk for me?
Myron: Yes.
Todd: [sits in his new desk] And you're not gonna throw it out the window.
Mrs. Jewls: Oh, no. That was when we were studying gravity.
Todd: You tossed my desk out the window just to see how fast it would fall?
Mrs. Jewls: Why of course, dear. It was science day. We take our education very seriously. Next week, it's VOLCANOS!
Todd: Thanks. All I've ever wanted to do here is to fit in and... you know, make things better for everyone.
Mrs. Jewls: Oh how wonderful, Todd. Now is there anything else in the class you think needs fixing?
Todd: [looks around the classroom] Nope. Wouldn't change a thing.
[the class cheers]
Dana: You're the best, Todd!
Myron: Way to go, Waysider!
Maurecia: I love you, Todd!

[Mrs. Jewls' class panics as the walls in the room move like a trash compactor]
Dana: Get us out of here!
Todd: [entering the room] Don't worry! It's me, Todd! I'm gonna help you guys!
[the class cheers]
Mrs. Jewls: Oh thank you, Todd. We are so glad you're here. I overheard you talking to Louis before, and just think. If you hadn't gotten kicked out of your last school for failing to help those kindergarten kids, you'd never be able e to come here and fail to help us. Oh, wait a minute. That didn't 'T sound very good. Forget what I just said, Todd. We're all just gonna panic.
[everybody panics]