Peter Dinklage credited as playing...
Tyrion Lannister
- Tyrion Lannister: Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you.
- Jon Snow: What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
- Tyrion Lannister: All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.
- Tyrion Lannister: [to Cersei] A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you will know the debt is paid.
- Tyrion Lannister: [to Joffrey] We've had vicious kings and we've had idiot kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king!
- Oberyn Martell: When we met your sister, she promised she would show you to us. Every day we would ask. Every day she would say, "Soon." Then she and your brother took us to your nursery and... she unveiled the freak. Your head was a bit large. Your arms and legs were a bit small, but no claw. No red eye. No tail between your legs. Just a tiny pink cock. We didn't try to hide our disappointment. "That's not a monster," I told Cersei, "that's just a baby." And she said, "He killed my mother." And she pinched your little cock so hard, I thought she might pull it off. Until your brother made her stop. "It doesn't matter," she told us. "Everyone says he will die soon, I hope they are right; he should not have lived this long."
- Tyrion Lannister: [tears welling] Well... sooner or later, Cersei always gets what she wants.
- Oberyn Martell: And what about what I want? Justice for my sister and her children.
- Tyrion Lannister: If you want justice, you've come to the wrong place.
- Oberyn Martell: I disagree. I've come to the perfect place. I want to bring those who have wronged me to justice, and all those who have wronged me are right here. I will begin with Ser Gregor Clegane, who killed my sister's children and then raped her with their blood still on his hands before killing her, too. I will be your champion.
- Joffrey Baratheon: If I tell the Hound to cut you in half, he'll do it without a second thought.
- Tyrion Lannister: That would make me the quarter-man. Just doesn't have the same ring to it.
- Joffrey Baratheon: They say Stannis never smiles. I'll give him a red smile, from ear to ear.
- [Joffrey walks away]
- Tyrion Lannister: [jokingly] Imagine Stannis' terror.
- Lord Varys: I am trying.