Christopher McDonald credited as playing...
Mr. Stifler
- Mr. Stifler: Son?
- Erik Stifler: Yeah?
- Mr. Stifler: I want to show you something. This is the list of all the chicks I ever banged.
- Mike 'Cooze' Coozeman: Are you serious? Is that two-sided? It is. Nice!
- Mr. Stifler: Yeah, it's a good goal for you to try to keep up with your old man.
- Erik Stifler: Hey Dad, why isn't Mom's name the last name on the list?
- Mr. Stifler: There? Uh, we didn't tell you, but when you were three, we had a trial separation for a week.
- Erik Stifler: Trial Separation?
- Erik Stifler: Uh, Dad, there's like... Well, there's ten names here for that week alone.
- Mr. Stifler: Yeah, I went on kind of a poontang bender there.
- Mike 'Cooze' Coozeman: Is that my Mom's name?
- Mr. Stifler: Yeah, you know, on second thought I'll just kind of hang onto that.
- Erik Stifler: [whispering] You had sex with his Mom?
- Mr. Stifler: Yeah.
- Erik Stifler: [whispering] How was it?
- Mr. Stifler: Yuck.