Aida Turturro credited as playing...
Janice Soprano Baccalieri
- [playing Monopoly]
- Janice Soprano: [reading card aloud] "Second prize in a beauty contest collect $10." Go ahead, make your stupid joke.
- Tony Soprano: I got nothing to say.
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Think I'll buy a railroad.
- Tony Soprano: A German shepherd's shaved asshole won first prize.
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Oh! You're talkin' about my wife.
- Tony Soprano: You married her.
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: It's my home. No more talkin' like that.
- Janice Soprano: It's OK, Bobby.
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Stay outta this! You Sopranos. You go too far.
- Tony Soprano: Alright, you know, Jan, he's right. I'm sorry. I crossed the line. I apologize. Won't happen again.
- Tony Soprano: [quietly begins singing "Under the Boardwalk"] Under the Boardwalk. With a schlong in Jan's mouth. Under the...
- [Bobby punches Tony in the face. The two have a fistfight]
- Janice Soprano: You want to swap family stories Tone? How about the time when Mom and Dad were coming back from the Copa?
- Tony Soprano: That's enough Janice!
- Janice Soprano: [laughing] Mom's hair!
- Tony Soprano: That didn't even happen! And anyway, it's not for public concern!
- Carmela Soprano: What? Oh my God! What?
- Janice Soprano: They were driving back from Manhattan, with Uncle June and his goomar. Oh! What was her name?
- Tony Soprano: Your ass!
- Janice Soprano: That's how we heard the story through her...
- [remembering]
- Janice Soprano: Rosemary. My father's driving, and she's ragging on his ass. You know how she gets. He's been drinking, I guess. And he takes out his gun!
- Carmela Soprano: Oh my God!
- Janice Soprano: BOOM!
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Holy shit!
- [Tony looks embarrassed]
- Janice Soprano: Fuckin' blew right through her beehive hairdo!
- [Carmela, Janice and Bobby burst out laughing]
- Carmela Soprano: [laughing] I can't believe you never told me that story!
- Janice Soprano: Yeah! What's the big deal!
- Tony Soprano: 'Cause it makes us look like a fuckin' dysfunctional family!
- [cursing]
- Tony Soprano: Jesus Christ!
- Janice Soprano: My turn!
- Tony Soprano: [to Carmela] And don't you ever tell the kids that about their grandfather!
- Carmela Soprano: Of course not!
- Tony Soprano: The story you heard, with the pool?
- Carmela Soprano: Oh my God, please
- Janice Soprano: What?
- Carmela Soprano: No, you don't wanna know: Pradeep, our pharmacist was at a pool party. All the kids were playing in the water adults were all around having drinks, barbequing. Somehow, even with all of these people around, this three-year-old child managed to fall into the pool. Nobody even noticed until they finally found him floating face down in the water
- Tony Soprano: Brain dead
- Carmela Soprano: Poor kid's in one of those padded wheelchair now
- Tony Soprano: I can't get that story out of my mind. I don't know why.
- Carmela Soprano: [after hanging up the phone with AJ] Tony seemed to "hit the hooch" a little at lunch today, I think his feeling his age?
- Janice Soprano: What'd you think it's like for me? When we were kids, he did whatever I said. My therapist, Sandy said our mom was a "splitter". She "pit" the three of us against each other, to toughen us up, I guess? I couldn't help overhearing you with AJ, God, you gotta "walk on eggshells" with these kids today, huh?
- Carmela Soprano: We're "almost" through that "phase", thank God
- Janice Soprano: Your good with them
- Carmela Soprano: really? I wish he'd go back to college: sleeps most nights at Blanca's
- Janice Soprano: Speaking of kids and ma, Sandy said something "interesting", that when we were babies, everything was "fine" but ma couldn't stand as babies get older, they "separated" from her. When they started to talk and express ideas, that's when the trouble started, it wasn't that she didn't love us