James Gandolfini credited as playing...
Tony Soprano
- Christopher Moltisanti: [At the Cleaver movie premiere after party, walking up to him] what?
- Tony Soprano: [Hugs him, referring to the resemblance of a character in the movie] what? I'll give you a "what", fuckin boss down in the cellar, wearing a white bathrobe, where'd you get that?
- Christopher Moltisanti: I don't know. "Artistic choice"
- Tony Soprano: Seriously though, I'm very proud, whatever else happened, you made a movie Christopher. Nobody can take that away. A hundred years from now when we're dead and gone, people are going to be watching this fuckin thing
- Christopher Moltisanti: You know how much Imperial vodka I scored just this party alone? I had a couple cases put down in your car
- Agent Dwight Harris: [standing next to Ron Goddard] I've told you, my partner and I are with the Joint Terror Task Force now
- Agent Ron Goddard: Your around Port Newark often enough: we're concerned about what could come through there from the Middle East
- Tony Soprano: Yeah, and?
- Agent Dwight Harris: Let's talk terror funding: most of it comes about through illegal enterprise. Our pitch is this and it's the same we gave to Christopher Moltisanti, maybe he never mentioned it. If you or any of your people heard of anything going down, Middle Easterners, Pakistanis, you'd be helping us a lot if you let us know
- Tony Soprano: [sarcastically] I think there's a word for that
- Agent Ron Goddard: Your daughter takes pre-med classes in New York, she uses the tunnels
- Agent Dwight Harris: [as Tony leaves without saying a word] Something to keep in mind
- J.T. Dolan: [greeting them after walking up to them at bar inside the Bada Bing strip club] gentlemen
- Silvio Dante: hey, how are ya?
- Tony Soprano: [jokingly, referring to the character played by William Shatner] TJ Hooker
- J.T. Dolan: [correcting him, amused] JT, actually, I'm looking for Chris, I'm supposed to meet him
- Silvio Dante: [referring to Christopher's unlikeness being found in a bar because of his sobriety] here?
- J.T. Dolan: [while holding his cell phone] the thing is, he left me a message but this fuckin Version, mind if I wait?
- J.T. Dolan: [after Tony gestures to him to sit, to the bartender] diet Coke, please
- J.T. Dolan: [to everybody, referring to the movie he wrote and Christopher produced] so, what'd you think of Cleaver?
- Tony Soprano: oh, it was good, congratulations
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [irritated, referring to a return from the money they invested] I hope we're gonna see some money soon
- J.T. Dolan: yeah, as a writer, you can never really tell, you know, come up with an idea, you don't know how the audience is gonna respond. I mean, just because I like something I think of, doesn't mean anyone else will
- Tony Soprano: that's the "challenge", huh?
- J.T. Dolan: it is "challenging" sometimes: inventing characters, having them interact: the boss, Sally Boy, for example, his whole persona, I "stole" that from Broderick Crawford in "Born Yesterday"
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: what's that?
- J.T. Dolan: [referring to the writer of the movie, the year it was released and the plot] Garson Kanin, in the 1950's, it's terrific. William Holden falls in love with Crawford's girlfriend played by Judy Holliday
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [to JT] the black girl, the singer?
- Silvio Dante: [correcting Paulie] nah, that's Billie Holiday
- J.T. Dolan: [to Paulie] although Judy's character in the movie is also named "Billie" too so I can see why your "confused"
- Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: [irritated] I've never seen it, why would I be "confused"?
- J.T. Dolan: [nervously, to Tony] anyway, the Sally Boy character is based on Crawford, sort of a big burly guy, the love triangle coupling of Michael sleeping with the fiancée, very similar to the Holden/Holliday "dynamic"
- Tony Soprano: so, the whole "thing" was your idea?
- J.T. Dolan: [raises his drink to toast] apologies to Garson Kanin
- Tony Soprano: There he is! So, how was Florida?
- Phil Leotardo: Hot and sticky, like my balls. I spoke to Ginny, she's a wreck. John's in the cancer ward, she's down the road in some fuckin motel
- Tony Soprano: Poor prick, prison's not bad enough, fuckin lung cancer to boot
- Phil Leotardo: [before pointing to his chest] Tell me about it, Quintuple bypass then the infection: Seven months of physical therapy. I'm just starting now to get back to myself again
- Tony Soprano: Sausage Cioppino, anything spicy can put me back in the emergency room, if I'm not careful. All in all, we're lucky fucks, I tell myself that everyday
- Tony Soprano: [after Phil shrugs] Now that your back, how about you straighten that family out?
- Phil Leotardo: Not for me. Obviously, health wise, being a boss is a young man's game
- Tony Soprano: Between the joint fitters and the carpenters, those envelopes are "light" over ten percent each week
- Phil Leotardo: I feel it too
- Tony Soprano: The word on the street is that Gerry is a favorite to take over
- Phil Leotardo: His my protegee, I don't stand in his way
- Tony Soprano: [sarcastically, jokingly] Oh, there's a "ringing endorsement"
- Tony Soprano: [in their kitchen the morning after the movie premiere party for Christopher's movie Cleaver] What are you, hungover?
- Carmela Soprano: What? I had two glasses of wine
- Tony Soprano: Why are you so pissy?
- Carmela Soprano: The portrayal of that guy in the movie
- Tony Soprano: What guy?
- Carmela Soprano: The boss
- Tony Soprano: What about him?
- Carmela Soprano: It was based on you
- Tony Soprano: I know, you said, the yelling
- Carmela Soprano: It wasn't just the yelling
- Tony Soprano: Imitation is a form of flattering
- Carmela Soprano: You think that's flattering?
- Tony Soprano: It was ok, tough prick, that Baldwin
- Carmela Soprano: What about the girlfriend?
- Tony Soprano: What girlfriend?
- Carmela Soprano: The cleaver guy, the lead character: his entire motive for revenge
- Tony Soprano: I don't know, you lost me
- Carmela Soprano: Sally Boy, the boss? He fucked the guy's fiancée
- Tony Soprano: [referring to Tony supposedly having an affair with her during their separation] the thing with Adriana? I told you it never fuckin happened
- Carmela Soprano: Well, apparently your nephew feels otherwise. Roe pointed it out to me but if she saw it, that means other people did
- Tony Soprano: [raises his voice] It's a movie: it's fiction
- Carmela Soprano: It's a revenge fantasy, which ends with the boss's head split open with a meat cleaver
- Carmine 'Little Carmine' Lupertazzi: [while at the restaurant inside a golf resort] we would've invited you to play but we had our fourth
- Carmine 'Little Carmine' Lupertazzi: [after noticing the expression on Tony's face] you're not happy
- Tony Soprano: what the fuck, this family of yours, fuckin senile 'Doc' Santoro uses one of my guys as a diversion? Sil could've got hurt
- Carmine 'Little Carmine' Lupertazzi: Doc showed a lack of respect
- Tony Soprano: this fuckin leadership, step up, get your hands around this "thing", you know you got the support
- Carmine 'Little Carmine' Lupertazzi: [smiles] you never thought you'd mutter those words, did you?
- Tony Soprano: what'd you want me to say?
- Carmine 'Little Carmine' Lupertazzi: I hear you and I'm flattered but boss, I don't think so, especially now Doc cemented his position
- Tony Soprano: Phil was bad enough at the top spot but him I could've lived with
- Carmine 'Little Carmine' Lupertazzi: there was a time I was obsessed with being in charge, you remember?
- Tony Soprano: so, do it
- Carmine 'Little Carmine' Lupertazzi: one night around then, I had this dream: it was my pop's hundredth birthday even though his been dead for years. The whole family's there, grandkids, everybody, his wearing one of these gold paper crowns like at Burger King? Anyway, I give him this present, this mellifluous box, with ribbons, he opens it up and looks at me, this gaze of absolute disappointment, there's nothing in the box, so he hands it back to me, "Go fill it up "he says, "Come back when I'm two hundred"
- Tony Soprano: so, go for it: fulfill that part of yourself
- Tony Soprano: [referring to in Christopher's movie Cleaver portraying the mob boss resembling Tony] This is the image of me he leaves to the world
- Tony Soprano: [when she doesn't respond] I remember when he was born, I would hold him in my arms, an adorable kid too, with big eyes
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You always talk about him more like a son
- Tony Soprano: in some ways he was, especially after his dad died. When he was little, I used to give him rides. I put him in the basket of the butcher bike, peddle him around, back when Satriale's made deliveries. I reminded him of that recently... he didn't remember
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: But you do
- Tony Soprano: We had fun: all those memories and for what? All I am to him is some asshole bully
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [as she notices him becoming teary eyed] your hurt
- Tony Soprano: His dad Dickie was like my me to him
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: A mentor
- Tony Soprano: Yeah, more than that, a friend. A fuckin guy you can look up to and the hope is you pass that shit down. The respect and the love and all I did for this fuckin kid and he fuckin hates me so much
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I'm sure on some level he loves you too
- Tony Soprano: [before kicking the DVD copy of the movie closer to her on the coffee table] Yeah? Take that home: judge for yourself, last five minutes should answer that question
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I'm not going to do that
- Tony Soprano: [jokingly] Not a horror fan?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: It's what you think that matters
- Tony Soprano: I think he fuckin despises me: it's pretty obvious, he wants to see me dead
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Without invalidating your feelings, is it possible that on some level your reading into all of this?
- Tony Soprano: [sighs] I've been coming here for years, I know too much about the subconscious now