Donkey Punch

I was pleasantly surprised by this film. The Leeds lasses on a jolly girls excursion made it seem quite parochial, to the extent that the Yanks will probably need subtitles, and there is a central moral vacuousness (in the deeds) which is nonetheless appropriately dealt with in terms of who gets what and how. Very often this kind of film leaves you frustrated in terms of dénouement, but I thought that comeuppance was most appropriately dealt out and the ending doesn't let you down, inasmuch as you can figure on how things might develop post-movie (imagine this going to court!). I thought the acting was really good, there was a good dose of (black) humour and the film could be read on many levels (as much as a class conflict as anything else). Great little film, hard to spot the low budget.

I can't remember the last time that a movie squandered as much goodwill in such a short space of time as this one does. The first half is genuinely terrific, as six lairy, sexed-up twenty-somethings flirt, take drugs and confabulate on a yacht anchored off the coast of an unnamed Spanish island. Its like Hollyoaks as directed by Larry Clark, and it is totally gripping.

But as soon as the titular incident occurs (and the titular incident really does occur; just in case anyone else suspected that the title was merely a jocular come-on) the plot suddenly helter skelters straight into a brick wall; turning into the kind of dated, tiresome trash that isn't only shockingly predictable, but also entirely unaware of its own predictability. The film's twists are broadly apparent a full ten minutes before they occur on screen, which makes for an experience that isn't only boring, but also deeply and repeatedly annoying.

This is one of those thrillers in which every cast member gets a turn playing the volatile psychopath, purely because the script can't get around the fact that the previous character to go loopy has just been safely locked in a cupboard.

It never once stops being faultlessly directed - debutant Oliver Blackburn coaxes some really outstanding performances from his young cast, and there are a couple of devilish moments of genuine suspense and black comedy - but these jiffys are like a tiny number of slowly deflating rubber dinghies sinking into a gigantic ocean of generic pish.

People merely looking for explicit sex will be very well served, but the violence and gore is surprisingly tame for something that's being marketed as a plasma-stained killfest.

A very brief, but nevertheless apt and effective homage to Phillip Noyce's Dead Calm aside (a film so infinitely superior that I feel guilty for even having mentioned it here) this is just a shoddy, witless bore of a film.

And it all started so well.

Firstly this is not a slasher movie nor could it even loosely be described as a horror it can barely even be described as a thriller as it's largely quite boring, the sex is not explicit and the violence not extreme.

I personally didn't feel the film was misogynistic and was one area where the film did succeed by not overtly portraying the females as victims except in places to (unsuccessfully) elicit sympathy and create tension. The female characters are simply one of two opposing sides that develop as a result of the titular sexual act which accidentally results in death which is an alternative to traditional good and bad set ups (as seen in say Eden Lake). If this element had been developed and handled properly it could have lead to an interesting moral conflict instead of lazily resorting to the thriller default plot devices of anger, fear and friends turning on each other.

In addition to the script problems some judicious editing to reduce the running time to around eighty minutes (from 95) would massively help the films leaden pacing which contributes to and ultimately cripples what could have been an interesting and original drama/thriller.

Olly Blackburn's classy but nasty thriller 'Donkey Punch' takes a number of standard tricks of the genre: the isolated location, the failing communications equipment, a steadily rising body count; and adds one of its own, namely the lethal fall out from the use of the obscure sexual technique of its title. The opening portions are almost unwatchable, as one waits to see who is going to fall victim to this manoeuvre, against a discomforting backdrop of youthful hedonism. Yet the movie only strengthens as it goes on, the director underlays the mounting gore, uses music impeccably, and there are honest, gutsy performances from the cast. Fundamentally, this becomes a movie about what ordinary people will do to survive in extreme conditions; not pretty, but I found the basic psychology believable. Overall, much better than expected.

Donkey Punch is more than competently directed, almost every aspect of it is superbly executed - save for the tiny matter called screenplay. The plot is so tired words cannot begin to describe it. There is not one event that cannot be foreseen from miles ahead by anyone who has seen more than two thriller movies in recent years.

The director is obviously very talented, and even the acting is above average compared to this type of fare (I'm looking at you My Bloody Valentine 3D with your silent movie-type overacting) but the plot is such a bore and there is a distinct lack of suspense throughout that instead of generating thrills it almost put me to sleep.

Any real chance of characterization sinks as soon as the characters begin to do awfully predictable and silly things, just for the sake of packing a punch to the audience - which in turn fails because everyone can see them coming.

And to think that British public funding is going to such stinking waste of material and talent is beyond comprehension. I am all for subsidizing mainstream films but Donkey Punch is a knockoff of dozens of movies we have seen, most of them better written.

Just a touch of originality would have elevated Donkey Punch to at least an average level, as it is now it is just not worth the time and investment. On the plus side: the soundtrack is awesome.